This subject came up over a few beers a while ago. Thought it might evoke a few good stories.
Guy approached me with a wagon wheel he found and wanted refurbished. It consisted mostly of an iron rim and a few vaguely spoke-shaped pieces of rotted wood. The only original piece on the finished job was the rim but customer was impressed with the distressed timber work.
My most bizarre job was commissioned by a lady wanting a hat rack for a friend turning 40. It was to consist of a backplate and a carving of (ladies cover your eyes here) male private parts. I was intrigued and but not real keen until she offered twice my normal rate. (Ah greed!)
She later reported that the gift was well received.
Any other good stories?
Replies
Once or twice a year, I receive a request to build something "we saw in a furniture store, but didn't like the color. Can you (insert me) build it for less???"
Jeff
I think I know them! Lemme guess - they also didn't like the 2-micron veneer and thought it should be done in Cocobolo, right?
Most bizzarre?
A family wanted their "antique" wheelbarrow "restored".
Best I could tell, the only original pieces in the entire pile of rot were the wrought iron pieces -- the wheel, and the supports.
But it's what they wanted. After making sure that they had no visions of high-dollar-value when finished, I took the job.
And I even made some money. The "new version" is made from select cypress, and was treated with copper napthanate. With some luck, it might last 75 years.
I won't be laughing at the lies when I'm gone,
And I can't question how or when or why when I'm gone;
I can't live proud enough to die when I'm gone,
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here. (Phil Ochs)
Hi YesMaamLooks a great job. I think that when the customer is happy you have achieved the goal.These kinda jobs remind me of an axe we had in our family for generations. Almost original condition only had 2 new heads and 7 new handles.
Terry Pratchett based a good part "The Fifth Elephant" on this principle! (The Dwarf King's axe)The computer I'm typing this on is the one I bought in 1989. There may not be a single original component left - not even the screws - but there has always been a continuity during the multitudinous upgrades.
Well, I've been using the same ax for almost 50 years. Of course, I've replaced the handle four times and the head twice...
>Terry Pratchett based a good part "The Fifth Elephant" on this principle! (The Dwarf King's axe)<
This guy is brilliant, he must think left and right handed at the same time. Imagine living in Disc World!Bought in 1989!!! Is the boiler coal or oil fired?
Aaahhh snap !
I have never said that before but I been hearing the young lads at work say it so figured I would try it out.
OK here goes:
True story down to the last detail.
I got a call from a guy who had heard I was willing to turn weird metal parts for sports cars etc. I said what cha got ? He says he wants me to turn some parts for a ball valve . . . a ball valve on the water canon of a Land Rover fire truck from like the 1940's or 1950's ! ( I goodled for a pic but have not found one yet. Very frumpy vehicle. I saw it on a trailer once in passing. )
I said oooooooK. He says when can he come over and talk. I say now's good. I gave him directions. He says I'll be there in fifteen minutes.
It was clear skies out side. Mid summer. Hot.
Did I mention not a cloud in the sky for miles ?
I hung up the phone. It got cloudy outside. It began to rain. He rounded the corner of my block. It began to rain like hell. He pulled into the driveway in an old, totally authentic, restored, aluminum bodied, military, green, Land Rover.
I felt sorry for him and I had an umbrella right by the door so rather than him climb the stairs in the monsoon I popped the umbrella and headed down.
We sat in the vehicle for a half hour and shot the breeze and discussed the project (shouting to each other over the roar of the rain on the cloth top ). I agreed to do it, took the old parts, popped the umbrella and climbed the stairs to the deck and went in the house.
He backed out of the drive in the down pore, and drove away down the block and around the corner.
It stopped raining, the sun popped out and soon everything was drying out.
I am not making this up in the least. That was exactly the way it happened.
I made the parts and he paid me well for it.
Shuuush . . . is that the music from the twilight zone theme that I hear ?
roc
Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. Abraham Lincoln ( 54° shaves )
Edited 10/18/2009 2:07 am by roc <!-- ROC2013 -->
Edited 10/18/2009 2:14 am by roc <!-- ROC2013 -->
Edited 10/18/2009 2:19 am by roc
You sure that guy wasn't Jinx from Dogpatch in Lil' Abner.Just about everyone down here drives Land Rovers. Most left over from the '82 conflict, but a few pre. Great four wheel drive, the kids first cars are Land Rovers and there are some weird mods getting around.
Well, I can't compete with phallic hat racks, but mine was small "table" to aid in the braiding of hair. It was like a small stool, on to which a wooden domed plate sat. That plate had a hole in the center and 24 evenly spaced notches around the circumference. I saw it is use once and the braided hair that emerged was quite impressive. The hair could be boiled and shaped in to some really interesting items. In the end the eww! factor was a little too much. Apparently this was a common craft in the 19th century, that is the weaving of human hair into chains, bracelets, watch chains etc. In fact it is featured briefly in the Eastwood film the Out Law Josey Wales, where Sondra Locke gives him a watch chain made from her hair.
Rob Millard
http://www.americanfederalperiod.com
Hi RobThis sounds more like an instrument of torture, do you have a pic?Regards Bruce
Rob.. Mornin' to you...
I think I know what you are talking about but I would sure like to see a picture. Never made one but I think I saw someplace what you describe that a woman used to make things from, all things, Dog hair... I remember she said dog hair is very warm and does not scratch you if properly prepared.
I recall that what you describe was used with a loom?
My weirdest commission actually happened a few weeks ago. I was contacted by a young lady who wanted me to modify a wooden soup ladle she purchased on-line. I figured it was too weird a request to refuse so I said OK. She showed up at home with the unit. I could see the bottom was not perfectly spherical and she also complained of the rim not being of consistent thickness. I thought "God, she's really picky! It's just a soup ladle with character." Before I would finish my thought she explained she was a perfectionist. I am always worried about customers that are this picky but I agreed to fix it. Well, when she picked it up a few days later she was so happy I thought she was going to kiss me if it wasn't for my wife being present. She told my wife to hang on to me because I was a good man! (no argument here ;-)) Then she asked me if I built houses because she was looking for a good builder and could not find one. I politely declined.
Stay away from that one mate she would have you working forever.Installed a kitchen for a lady of similar mind, was way beyond God in cleanliness. She continually swept and vacuumed under my feet while I was working. After tripping me up twice I got the message across by (accidently) stepping on her cleaner nozzle.
wot,
Many years ago, remember the "energy crisis" of the 70's? I was commissioned to make a 4'+ long impeller for a homemade wind generator.
A while back I made a twice-life-sized rendition of the right side of a human jaw, (the jawbone, and teeth) for a local dentist, who had been called as an expert witness in a dental malpractice trial. He felt the jury wouldn't understand the complexities of his testimony without a model on which he could illustrate the surgical procedure in question. The model included a fracture and mending plate, one screw of which ended up with a nerve wrapped around its shaft. The defense attorney paid the bill, and I was told, kept the jaw on a shelf in his office after the trial.
And, right now, I'm carving a wooden grave marker for...a cat-- "Cinema", the mascot at a local video store, who was killed playing in the traffic in front of the store.
Ray
Roy>kept the jaw on a shelf in his office after the trial.<Probably to put the bite on other clients!I remember a story of a tin miner near home who had a set of tin dentures made. Drank most of his wages so left them with the hotel owner, behind the bar, as collateral, until the next payday. As he ate in the hotel the owner kindly lent them back to eat.Bruce
Ray,
By any chance, do you have a picture of the jaw?
Jimhttp://www.jimreedy.com
No, Jim,
Wish I did, but time was of the essence, and it went out the door the day the paint was dry.
Ray
A couple of year ago a local resident heard that I built furniture and wanted to know if I wanted a real challange. As it turned out he wanted a full size wooden body for a 1906 Ford "N" car. In a weak moment I agreed and as it turned out I ended up building 3 of them. Lots of angles, curved sides, and plenty of fancy molding.
Edited 10/20/2009 7:37 pm ET by mrbird90
Edited 10/20/2009 9:14 pm ET by mrbird90
Here is a picture of the "N" car body. I didn't do the painting, I only furnished an unfinished wood body.Structure was ash and the body sides, floor etc were all poplar. In the picture you are looking at the back or trunk area. Sorry about the size but I have not learned how to resize. Maybe some guru ot there can do it here to see it better.
Edited 10/20/2009 9:21 pm ET by mrbird90
Edited 10/20/2009 9:25 pm ET by mrbird90
re-sizedLeon
You might try downloading Irfanview, it's a free image editor.
http://www.irfanview.comLeon
Thanks
Mel
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