I have determined that there is something, a tribe of gremlins or goblins perhaps, that lives in my shop. They follow me around moving things, denting perfectly smooth boards, and come out at night and clutter up my work benches, and the top of the table saw.
I know I can’t be the one who is cluttering up every flat surface in the place, and I’m certain that things keep moving around from where I left them to reappear days and weeks later in strange places I never would have put them.
I spent most of this weekend cleaning up the shop, and sorting out my hand tools.
I have one of those motion sensing cameras, that they sell for monitoring wildlife on trails. I’m going to set the thing up and see if I can get a shot of them messing the place up tonight.
Replies
I think we all can reflect on this subject.
Work Safe, Count to 10 when your done for the day !!
Bruce S.
J-n-F,
We all have the workshop gremlins. I have long advocated getting a Swedish au-pair, not to help with the kids, but to help with the woodworking. Haven't done it yet, but it is an interesting option. There could be a whole new industry of bringing in woodworking assistants from the country that brought us Ikea and Anita Ekberg. Damn. Anita was a long time ago. I am surprised that I remember.
Remove all flat surfaces from your shop and the problem will go away.
Mel
Measure your output in smiles per board foot.
the country that brought us Ikea and Anita Ekberg. Damn. Anita was a long time ago.
"It was President Kennedy calling me up. 'My friend Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?' 'My friend John, Brigitte Bardot. Anita Ekberg. Sophia Loren. Country'll grow."'
I bet I haven't thought of Anita Ekberg, or heard that song, in at least 40 years.
>>"It was President Kennedy calling me up. 'My friend Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?' 'My friend John, Brigitte Bardot. Anita Ekberg. Sophia Loren. Country'll grow."'I bet I haven't thought of Anita Ekberg, or heard that song, in at least 40 years. <<Dylan has a way of stickin' with ya!
[Avoid schadenfreude]
Mel, what about Sonja Henjia,I bet she put the skids under quite a few,Rita Hayworth,Maureen O'Hara,Ahh! the good old days when women could make you a Mug of Tae.Regds Boysie Slan Leat.I'm never always right but i'm always never wrong. Boysie
Boysie,
You must go back farther than I do. I remember Anita Ekberg. I remember seeing Sonja Henie in old movies. I'd take help from either Anita or Sonja to clean up my shop.
Regards,
MelMeasure your output in smiles per board foot.
Forget about the gremlins...the swedish assistant thing sounds brilliant. Now how to take that concept into practice.... I would imagine the wife would need some convincing.....
Rick
Mel,
I have long advocated getting a Swedish au-pair
You rascal, now you've done it!
I took your advice as I respect one who is involved with all things in space. I comissioned a French maid from Canada to help me keep the woodshop clean and to keep a lookout for those pesky Gremlins. She didn't understand what I meant by au pair. Does au pair mean something else in French?
Anyway, I came home after a tiring day in work to find that the house was spotlessly cleaned, the lawn was groomed better than I can do. A magnificent dinner was prepared awaiting my arrival, repleat with the finest wine. I thought, what more could a man ask for?
After a delightful dinner with much multi-lingual exchanges I went up to the woodshop for my daily escape from reality and therapy session from the work day. I found all my Queene Anne pieces that I was making were GONE!
To be continued (Message Truncated)
Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
I was thinking the same thing... then I found a small childs size 2 barefoot footprint on the jointer bed and figured where some of the issue was coming from... now for the traps...
Drew
Drew,
Mr. Chan, the woodworker, noticed that wood was occasionally missing from his lumber rack. He stayed up all one night watching for the thief, and sure enough, along about daybreak, he saw a small child creep into the storage are. Concealing his identity with a bearskin rug that covered all but his lower legs, the miscreant grabbed a length of teakwood, and started for the door. The old craftsman ran after him, shouting, "STOP, boy-foot bear, with teak of Chan!"
Ray
Ray, Just call me stupid if you want but I just didn't get it. Steve
heh
John Greenleaf Whittier1807-1892THE BAREFOOT BOY
Blessings on thee, little man,Barefoot boy with cheek of tan!With thy turned-up pantaloons,And thy merry whistled tunes;With thy red lip, redder stillKissed by strawberrys on the hill;With the sunshine on thy face,Through thy torn brim's jaunty grace;From my heart I give thee joy,--I was once a barefoot boy!
Good one, Ray.
Leon
Edited 9/11/2007 7:24 pm ET by lwj2
shop,
It's a left-handed reference to some of that highbrow stuff, poetry.
From I believe, Longfellow:
"Blessings on thee, little man,
Bare foot boy, with cheek of tan."
Ray, who probably ought to get out a little more
Edit: Whittier it is, then.
Edited 9/12/2007 9:57 am ET by joinerswork
Ray,
Ah so. Confuscious say, "Man with big knots wake up in morning with holy problem".
Regards,Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
I have the same problem. Whatever these things are, they reproduce and spread.. I'm seeing the same problem in my truck now. Gotta go hide my beer.
Aren't they supposed to be over at the cobbler's shop making shoes every night?
The gremlins in my shop are so daring that they'll move the tool I'm about to use and put it someplace it has no business being. Why yesterday I found my safety glasses on the top of a step stool across the shop and my dovetail saw (in it's box) on the bed of the lathe! For some reason he keeps taking all the pencils and breaking the leads...
Doesn't work. I try that every night, and whether it's wood-related stuff or bicycle-related stuff that's left out, it moves around.
Don't get me started on the spider poop, either.
did
Donate Online!
After they finished trashing your place they hit mine.
According to my son, they avoid places like his current employer, the 1st CEB. Something about C-4 he said.
There are many reasons for a sudden surge in shop gremlin activity. 1) yes they used to find volumns of work in the shoe making field but that industry has largley moved overseas and the dept of homeland security has made it very tough for undocmented aliens to actually leave the country. 2) Santa has his elves, Snow white has the dwarfs ( thank god there are only 7 to remember), "Lord of the Rings" has the hobbits and the Irish have Leprechauns, there just aren't that many openings left for tiny people in this day and age. 3) As we have seen with teenagers ect if we don't keep em occupied they just seem to look for mischief.
I think they have gotten really evil in my shop. I think they are peeing on things causing them to rust.
Jigs,
I set up remote controlled cameras in my woodshop as I was experiencing the same problem. I plugged them into the PC and I caught the culprit!
Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
Edited 9/12/2007 8:41 pm ET by KiddervilleAcres
Wow, Bob--that's the best cat disguise I've ever seen--so lifelike. Where would a gremlin get a costume like that? :) Tom"Notice that at no time do my fingers leave my hand"
Bet you don't have to worry about mouse pi$$ on your chisels.
Ray
I used to have a pet door for cats to get in and eat mice, gremlins ect but they hardly ever used it. Except for the tom cat, that @#%$% cat found his way into the shop and started marking his territory one day so the pet door got barred. The local mice took up residance and every time I would open a drawer there were empty nut shells or poo. It was a little out of hand until this summer when I noticed that it had slowed down a lot for seemingly no reason. One day I was working on a project and pulled down my circular saw and found something worse than a mouse or droppings. I found a shed snake skin that was well over 4' long, thank god it wasn't occupied as I am sure I would have needed new shorts. For the next few weeks I was really cautious going in and out of the shop and when picking any thing up. One night finally a week or so later I met up with the snake outside my shop, I followed him around the corner to see him slither into an old drain that I had forgotten about. I went inside caught the son of a gun and moved him into the father in laws barn ( 100 yards away and yes I told him about the snake ) then plugged that hole with some spray foam.
That reminds me....
-Steve (notice what he/she is crawling over)
Chris,
My dad had a "pet" snake in the barn on the farm where I grew up. Dad even gave him a name, "Joe", (as in "Old Black..." I know, not very original) . Joe was a pretty good sized old boy, I remember him stretched out, reaching nearly from one wagon wheel to another, as Dad stopped the hay wagon to move him out of the way with a pitchfork, so he wouldn't get run over. Dad said he'd rather have a snake in the barn, than rats in the corncrib.
Something about seeing a snake unexpectedly (is there any other way you see one?) always gives one pause.
Ray
Clutter has it's uses.
If your shop is clean, nobody will believe you do any actual work.
If your shop is cluttered then you can never seem to find the tool that the pesky neighbor wants to borrow (and keep).
If the shop is cluttered then you are clearly too busy to do all of the things that your wife wants done.
Any number of unpleasant tasks can be put off while you clean the shop.
I'd keep the mess. The alternative is scary.
Dan
Jigs,
It took a while but I finally got the critter stealing wood from my shop.
View Image
Regards,
Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
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