I’m collecting photos for the First Annual Real Men’s Woodworking Calender.
To participate, simply post a photo here of your Bad Self woodworking.
Rules:
1. Must be either over fifty years of age, or have a waist fifty inches or larger.
2. Only thongs, Speedoes, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, Birkenstock sandals or watch caps allowed for attire.
3. Dust collection, for obvious reasons, is encouraged.
First Place will be announced one month from today, with a panel of judges made up of Forestgirl and any and all women that she picks to assist her.
Decisions of the judges, like everything else women say, will be final.
First Place Prize will be one used chisel cover.
Second place will be one unused Carpenter’s Pencil, which I will donate.
Third Place to be announced.
Let the games begin!
Replies
Jammersix, I don't know where you are, but I have 10" of snow and ice. It's just too dang cold (-2 with the wind) here for anything but Carharts'. Even in the shop it never warms up enough for a thong or speedo (neither of which I own). I do have boots and hat though. AND am past 50 and getting dangerously close to 60 (years not waist line). Maybe if I can get the stove in the shop ROARING.... My wife on the other hand likes the idea. Says she'd love to take the pic. AND I do need a good used chisel cover.(of course I'd win..right?)
Bill D.
"If I can turn it into saw dust, I can handle it"
I'm in!!!! I want the pencil
51. 36 waist. could make up some steel toeded Birks
Well, Billy, you probably want to ask your wife to be careful with the camera angles, if you don't own a Speedo...YesMaam, you could start a fad-- we can add to the sartorial list one cloth tailor's tape, tied to show the waist measurement. I would venture that the judges would certainly give extra credit, perhaps something along the lines of a point per inch. More is better.Benefits, of course, go to the charity "My Buddy's Couch", the non-profit for men who get thrown out in the snow without their shoes.
Edited 3/3/2009 2:10 pm ET by Jammersix
Someone has way too much time on his hands!
Think of all the people we'll make happy, though!I have a new prize to add!I'll ship the price tag off the Jorgensen clamps I just bought to the poster of the first picture!
Edited 3/3/2009 5:40 pm ET by Jammersix
You know, with four prizes up for grabs, (so to speak) now, you guys don't think I'm putting too much up, do you?I wouldn't want to overdo it. That would never do.
Edited 3/3/2009 5:42 pm ET by Jammersix
Mr Six,
Although I might seem to be looking for a ship and also a bit younger than 50, I am in fact carving a ship's figure head with my left hand behind my back (I'm ambidextrous) and I was aged 60 just a coupla days ago.
I claim that price tag but leave the clamps on it.
View Image
Lataxe
And Lataxe wins the first picture prize!Just like an Englishman-- looking for his ship to come in while his future was landing at Heathrow...
Were is forest girl?
Well tomorrow is supposed to be a bit above freezing.
The lady wife AKA the Sweet Patient Beau. is home tomorrow and the 17 year old attitude on legs at school, with ipod in head.So let me get a chance to enter a photo tomorrow. I have problem's posting small photos, but it should be a wee less of a chore on the 'more.Looking for warm socks
Well, if YOU were Forestgirl, or any relatively sane woman, would you be lining up to add to this thread?We have a mad Englishman staring wistfully out to sea, seeing whatever it is Englishmen see when they stare into the sun, threats of posts from the shriveled shores of somewhere cold, and lots of wives chortling into their coffee.I don't blame her. At all.I tried to snap a picture of My Own Bad Self, but something's wrong with my iPhone...Do you suppose your 'Tude with 'Tunes could figure it out?Next, we'll have a contest to see who speaks the best Dude.
Edited 3/3/2009 7:05 pm ET by Jammersix
Jammer, you are so right. It made me laugh a lot.
And what does Forestgirl have to say of all this....and who are the panel of judges??
Bill D.
>>"Must be either over fifty years of age, or have a waist fifty inches or larger."
Do we get double the points if we meet both criteria?
I'll shave my back, and get my speedo. To be honest, I can't find a 50" waist speedo up here in the cold north. I'll be using body paints. You'll never know the diference.
Does anyone know a good airbrush artist?
And to the speedo users out there.. Remember, the potato goes in the front.
Edited 3/4/2009 7:33 am ET by GRW
Tried the thong for a while and it was mighty uncomfortable. One of the lifeguards explained I had it on backwards. Might explain why I had the beach to myself?
:-)
Gatordoc
PS Forestgirl: stay away, stay far, far away
"PS Forestgirl: stay away, stay far, far away" ROFL!! Got it!forestgirl -- you can take the girl out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the girl ;-)
Well, I do own the banana hammock and my girl would gladly take the photos. I'm just worried my teenage son would find a way to animate it and post it on youtube!
Besides, I don't meet the 50/50 criteria.
Sorry folks,
Now, how do you upload pictures from an iPhone?
"I'm just worried my teenage son would find a way to animate it and post it on youtube!" ROFL x 2!!!forestgirl -- you can take the girl out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the girl ;-)
And then again She may tell all her friends that My Mom watches..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ860P4iTaM
And Nora was just trying out what SHE could do!
Edited 3/7/2009 9:56 am by WillGeorge
Rules by number, and how I meet them.....
1. Double qualified perhaps, single fer sure
2. Cowboy hats? COWBOY HATS? Heads as perfect as this need no cover.
3. I've been at this keyboard long enough that I'm probably gathering dust, as is my shop.
Oh dear, you guys have been cooped up way too long. Way too long indeed.
Next thing I know you're going to be promoting wet t-shirt contests for these very big boys and this skinny girl will have to find some place else to hang-out for safety sake.
Yikes! Get to work on something guys, how about everybody read Silas Kopf's new book "A marquetry Odyssey" and report back next week for some less scary conversations!
Eeww 50 inch waists and speedos?
Madison
(A very brave girl, but not that brave!)
As promised!!
A warm spring day + 9c.
Holding a "Maple Walleye " I whipped up a while back. Easier to make than catch!!Forest girl and Madison I hope I have not offended your taste.Just had to give old Lataxe a run for the used pencil. I hope Madison and Forest girl will sign it, I will frame it.AND YES IT has been a long winter!! so long that the wee Colleen took the pic. Even she is getting bothered. She is turning 50 March 10th.
I've always wanted to sleep with a cougar???
oh, god, what have I done?
OK. Shoemaker opened the door, so here's one taken of me waiting for the dust to settle on a nice piece of work. Sorry I can't match his attire -- there are some things better left under cover -- but I think I beat him on girth and age, and in my neck of the woods it just isn't safe to dress that way when you're doing this kind of work. On the other hand, I think mine is bigger than his and it has that really natural color that some folks have trouble achieving.
(Shhhhh! The check's in the mail to the judges.)Verne
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to cut it up and make something with it . . . what a waste!<!----><!----><!---->
All right. So I got all excited and pushed the button without attaching the picture. Do I lose points for that? It's late. I've had a hard day. Give a guy a break. Verne
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to cut it up and make something with it . . . what a waste!<!----><!----><!---->
Verne,
By your unwillingness to undress I suspect you know you would lose to Shoe in the "lookitthat!" stakes. Is this why you set that fish on him, to eat off his interesting part? It's true that Maddy and The Girl will probably be less inclined to peruse the lad from top to toe if the fish has nibbled off his extrusion.
A dirty trick to play on a poor loon wandering in the snow!
Lataxe, brushing off any savage fish from his nether regions so the cat can deal with them.
Lataxe,
Guess that is the original codpiece, eh?
Ray
Ray,
It sure does look like this discussion should do something for the popularity in woodworking, eh? Whoever said woorworkers are, uh, boring.................
Regards,
Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
Edited 3/5/2009 10:25 am ET by KiddervilleAcres
Sire Lataxe, here's my entry!
Jeff
PS It ain't me!!
OK. Just kiddin. How about these shots.
Jeff
Oh, man. Nice pike! I have permanent scar tissue on my thumb from unhooking a lifetime of smaller ones. Those fish must have had teeth the size of German Shepherds.Joe
Joe
Thanks for noticing. The 48" Pike (the bigger of the two) was caught while fishing for walleye with 6 lb. test, no leader, and a little jig. He dragged our boat around like a submarine commander for about 40 minutes before I finally landed him. What a monster! Biggest fresh water fish I've ever caught. He weighed 37 lbs. , and ice was only out for a week. By midsummer, the guide said that he'd weigh in around 45 to 50 lbs.. Front teeth were about 3/4" long, no kidding.
Oh, and by the way, they are all still in the lake. Catch and release, baby.
Jeff
Edited 3/5/2009 8:15 pm ET by JeffHeath
Nice fish. Good pics.
But I hate to rain on your parade. I have the pic to prove it but will take some digging and scanning to get it.
97 we are building house. dock is out and daughters with lifejackets cast a lot.
So I am leveling forms Dayna about 5 says dad i'm tangled. so I walk over and help untangle the line. go back over and kneel down dad I'm tangled so I go down and said you just reeling into fast and the rod dipped. so she wound it in and hily ### she had a monster on. I yelled for my friend Pete and he came and helped land a Northern pike as tall as her. I took the pics and then they released her.Got to find the pic. Before that we were at Moyie lake near Cranbrook. BC and the first time I set then up to fish I put on a hook worm/bobber and said if the bobber goes down pull, run upshore and yell. well youngest daughter caught a 2 pound brook trout before I had her sister and mom set up, there was another couple with us and he was a big fish dude and setting up his girl friend and both kids had landed trout before he got a hook in the water.Hee Haa. well I was a day to remember. The girls now growen still like to angle, Yea for one good parenting thing.But I shall digress to lataxe mode. Shed your donnings you forthright's. Doth yea finest sample piece and head to the wilds, with friend with cam.
Release the pent up cool spot and find the taste of spring. of for you south of the equater before they freeze!Forestgirl, Madison et all femine types. I want the pencil what's my chances??
Vote often, vote early.
I'd say they're pretty good, Shoemaker!Yer the only one with any guts-- everyone else is postin' pics they kiped off the internet.
". . . everyone else is postin' pics they kiped off the internet."
I beg to differ! That there is an honest fish in my very own hands. I'll admit I didn't carve him, but I did catch him -- and released him unharmed. Truth be told, if I were going to submit a hi-jacked picture, the fish would have been a lot bigger than that little squirt. Verne
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to cut it up and make something with it . . . what a waste!<!----><!----><!---->
Heh...Okay, I guess I should apologize. I wasn't thinking of you-- but if I looked like the picture *I* posted, I'd die before I put it out on the internet, and I have this sneaking suspicion that Lataxe doesn't even resemble the stud muffin he posted.If he were that young, he wouldn't know anything about wood.I suppose, that seeing as how I started this jump-dance, and in the face of all this unsuspected (and unsuspecting) courage, I'm going to have to root around and find a picture of My Real Bad Self.
Edited 3/6/2009 12:21 am ET by Jammersix
Apology graciously accepted.
WRT Lataxe, who recently celebrated a birthday, I'd be surprised to discover that they actually had cameras when he was as young as the guy in that picture.
Now, to answer another issue -- I note that Jeff posted a really nice picture of a moose rack. There are probably a few folks on the forum who aren't aware that those things fall off the critter every year and are therefore laying about waiting for someone to pick them up. Proof of success requires the actual carcass unless you are only trying to prove you can find cast off antlers.
Since Jeff brought it up, here's my big game picture with the critters still attached. I know they don't look big -- Sitka blacktails run a tad on the small side -- but all of these were taken by two of us in a grand total of 40 minutes of hunting. We like to call it the 40 minute benchmark and to our knowledge, it hasn't been beat. Verne
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to cut it up and make something with it . . . what a waste!<!----><!----><!---->
Please accept this as clarification. I never intended for anyone to think I bagged the moose who was the previous owner of that rack in the picture. We were fishing in Northern Manitoba, and went ashore for shore lunch. Our guides chose the spot because it was near a known trapper cabin. When we walked to the cabin, there were several of these racks, as well as the bones of quite a few moose, bear, and other critters which had fallen under Magua's knife the previous winter. We were just amazed at how large and heavy those racks were. I was the only guy in a group of 10 that could lift that one over my head. It was quite heavy.
The fish, however, were all caught by me. Same trip.
Jeff
Jeff,
All in sport of course. And thanks for providing an opportunity to post a picture I'm kinda proud of -- as you are of those very nice fish. (You know some guys are actually fly fishing for pike these days!)
The really interesting part of this whole thread is that there are darn few of us who have any pictures of ourselves actually in our shops doing things with wood! I've got lots of hunting and fishing pictures but nothing much from the shop except finished work. I have one somewhere that was taken for the local paper's weekend supplement, but darned if I can lay hands on it, and if I did, I'd have to scan it because it was long before we were all doing such things digitally. Verne
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to cut it up and make something with it . . . what a waste!<!----><!----><!---->
I tried fly fishing. Doesn't do anything for me, but I can see why someone who want to catch some monster Pike with a fly rod.
I'm in the same boat as you. I'm always in the shop alone, and worked for more than 10 years without taking a photo of anything. I really didn't start to document my work on film until the last 10 years or so, and I'm not in any of the pics, because I'm the one taking them.
Take it easy,
Jeff looking forward to getting back up to Lake Edmonds Lodge to catch some more monsters.
Mr Six,
That is indeed my lovely personage in that pic and the fact that it was taken a mere twenty-summick years ago with a box brownie has nothing to do with it, no. I have changed not at all since then, except the hair is a little less black; but the growing-energy has instead gone into my nether regions as [censored for both rude and boast].
I might post a more recent nekkid pic but even now I think I hear a prude approaching from the Taunton Mission to Save Naughty Woodworkers From Going Blind or Otherwise Being Punished for Lewdity.
Lataxe, no fish on him (but I have noticed a barnacle or two of late).
Thought so-- but this ain't the "Back In The Day Real Men's Calender"!Why, if it was, I'd...Well, I'd...Do...something...
Edited 3/6/2009 6:11 am ET by Jammersix
Dude, I thought I told everybody .. NO PICTURES while me an my best gurl are at the pool!
Politics is the antithesis of problem solving.
"By your unwillingness to undress . . . "
Actually, I used to really enjoy flyfishing in the buff, but then I got a little older and discovered how painful it is when, in the heat of battle, you knock the fire off your cigar and it lands behind your vest. There is also the occasional tailing loop that catches you on the shoulder or some other part of your anatomy. Then there is the odd sealion that chases a hooked Dolly Varden right up to your . . . well, think about fishing in saltwater that's waist deep and you'll get the picture. Some things just don't bare thinking about.
Now, on the other hand, I love woodworking in shower shoes and dog-tags (as we used to say in the old Guard) but I just haven't any pictures of myself so engaged, so I've done the best I can. Verne
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to cut it up and make something with it . . . what a waste!<!----><!----><!---->
Steelhead! Now I'm hungry...(edit: how do you write four words and mis-spell one of them?)
Edited 3/5/2009 6:44 pm ET by Jammersix
Steelhead no just a lost Rainbow!!. Thorvald nice fish. Me and the wee Colleen have fished north of Prince George with long time friend "Larry" Many a nice Salmonide and a few good laughs and way to many brew.
Lataxe no worry about the naughty bits as the Maple walleye is trained to not bite acually didn't take long. Now for the cat trio, them sun sucking , low mouse power, spoiled felines, good thing they don't have thumbs and want a cel phone and IPOD.Sort of a "cod piece" but glad it ain't a seal pup.
Potato ? Thought it was rolled up socks. But I thought a Speedo was that thing on the dash board? don't get out much!Were is the judges??
Shoemaker1:
No offense and all I can say is perhaps you should take your Colleen someplace sunny and warm for her birthday so you can get some nice color to go with the loin cloth.
As for sleeping with a cougar, well honey you gotta be very careful around cougars and you might want to wear something a bit more durable!
Madison
Thank you for your kind words!!
as for travelling to warm weather, where is it warm with out hitting the equator?
They day of the pic was warm, the snow melted. Now it is -20 with a nice wind. and ugly ice everywhereOn the weather last nite predict -31c for Wednesday. The new ice age has arrived!!
Every one is getting a bit ticked at the weather and heating bills are huge!!!Now back to the pale skin, as mentioned hard to get any sun on the buns. But given some sun I do get a nice warm looking patenia. Will post in the summer calender edition.Now to the wee Colleen. Took here to the big city last night (Regina). Stayed at a friends house, Colleen got to pick the venue. So we went out for a rare evening out. As I Texted the friends to were we landed.
Had a nice meal and a bottle of wine, then friends started to show up. Well we had a fair group and a good time was had by all.
Then for brunch met with another good friend at fancy restaraunt . The waiter had a good laugh, he asked us at 10:30AM if we wanted a cocktail? We sort of said still wearing off last nite. asked for coffee. He came back with coffee and asked if we were celebrating something?. I said on Tuesday she turns from a lynx to a cougar, it took a second and then he repied " I finally fiqured out the vocabulary" then went to ask what age is this transformation took place, blushed mumbled and turned away. We just about fell off our seats laughing, He couldnt fiqure out if is she was 30,40 or 50,??!!??
Then drove home through a nice snow/wind storm. Ahhh.When do I get my signed used pencil??? I want to build it a proper case, to post here.Maybe FWW would make a promotional calender to raise money for habit for Humanity or similer charity?
Oh, I'll make sure you get the pencil, never fear!But I think the contest still has a few weeks to run, and there may yet be someone out there who can match your courage!I may have to give you EACH a pencil.How about a picture in your shop, in your Birkenstocks, with the sawdust flying around your fish?
Edited 3/8/2009 6:27 pm ET by Jammersix
I have tried flycasting for the fish but it does not bite,but I never thought if tying a shaving to a fly? HMMMM Might be the only fishing for a while!! (looks at frozen lake).Lataxe should get the workshop photo started>>>>
Lataxe post the forst calendar picture!?
Oh Gawd, he's on holiday and will have way too much time to come up with something. Are you quite sure you're prepared for that?
This could easily, oh never mind. I'll get myself in trouble.
:-)
Regards,Bob @ Kidderville Acres
A Woodworkers mind should be the sharpest tool in the shop!
I dated a Colleen and married a Sharon. They were close friends..
I loved them both but I had to pick one of them. I know I made the correct choice. And then some! I still think of Colleen. She was a wonderful girl/woman/teenager. I do not know, but I sure hope she found her 'Mr. Wonderful' She was better than the best! And then some.
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