I deployed in February of 2011 to Kunduz Provence, Afghanistan. I experienced my traumatic event around July of 2011. I noticed after that event that my sleep was greatly disturbed, I was having constant dreams of drowning in blood. But I sucked it up and didn't let it interfere with my job . I redeployed back to Germany in January 2012. I noticed my sleeping was off but I believed it was just my body adjusting to the time zone. I didn't notice the effect of the PTSD until I PCSD to Fort Riley, Kansas in September of 2012. I noticed my depression, self worth, attitude, and just everything that made me happy was in a really dark place. I was having flashbacks at training events and just being around other fellow soldiers. There were time were I would have full blown panic attack by just putting on my physical training uniform, to the point where I would vomit, get light headed and have to sit down because of the dizziness. I would sometimes lock myself in my closet and breakdown because all I could see was death when I closed my eyes.That is when I attended a Tempered Steel brief and just listening to all these soldiers talking about their experiences and being able to relate to them helped me see the problem in me. I seeked help after that. Everything kept adding up to the point were I attempted suicide for the first time. I was hospitalized for 15 days and was then released. I got hospitalized a second time for attempting suicide, but this time it was because the medication was off and I was still having all the same symptoms. I married my wife on May 25, 2013. I deployed again in June of 2013 to Africa for 6 months. I believed that I had my symptoms under control but in February of 2014 my grandfather passed so I went home on emergency leave and helped finance and coordinate for the funeral. My depression was bad but I came back and went to a month long training event in Fort Polk, LA. About 5 days into it and battling with all my symptoms coming back, I blacked out and ended up cutting myself. This lead to my third 15 day hospitalization in Louisiana. I came back to Fort Riley after that and got sent to a month long intense PTSD treatment program in Kansas City, Missouri. That is where I learned that art helped me bring back a piece of me. I noticed a great improvement in my attitude. I was able to create and get my frustrations out with woodwork. My wife noticed it too and supported with anything that I needed. Now I'm in the process of getting Medboarded for my conditions. I am trying to save as much money as I can so I can ease the transition for my wife and myself but that means that I don't have money left to buy tools and materials to keep my woodwork going. My wife came up with the Idea of posting my stuff on Etsy.
The money that gets donated will be used to buy tools and material to continue my woodworking. All donations that exceed the set amount will be used to help my transition into the civilian life and will be donated to Tempered Steel and helpingvets.org.
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