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The Editors Mailbox

Get Ready to Cut Some D'uhvetails

comments (18) September 9th, 2011 in blogs

Ed_Pirnik Ed Pirnik, Senior Web Producer
thumbs up 20 users recommend

Ever struggled over the definition of a jignoramous, or wracked your brain trying to figure what the heck a chiselephant is? - CLICK TO ENLARGE

Ever struggled over the definition of a "jignoramous," or wracked your brain trying to figure what the heck a "chiselephant" is?

We tend to be a rather self-deprecating group here at Fine Woodworking. Case-in-point: I've cut plenty of "d'ohvetails" and "d'uhvetails" over the years. Not familiar with those terms? Well take note: our new mock-dictionary of every woodworking term you never knew—because they don't exist—is beginning to take shape.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you: the first installment of our new "Dictionary of Woodwokring Slang." Special thanks goes out to our newest associate editor, Ken St. Onge, who spearheaded the campaign to shed light on such forgotten terms as "jignoramus."

Dictionary of Woodworking Slang

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posted in: blogs, slang dictionary, woodworking terms

Comments (18)

Rhysling Rhysling writes: Carver and Robscaffe:

First of all, if you don't like it, no need for you to participate. Second, I doubt if this little corner of the website is going to affect how "serious" this magazine is one way or the other. Third, I'm getting pretty tired of a trend in our society where everyone who can type seems to think their opinion of something is the last word on the subject.

Did it occur to you that a few of your fellow woodworkers might just be having a bit of fun doing this? Why call it crap if you don't have to? Unless you got frustrated when you couldn't think of anything to offer.

Lighten up guys.

Posted: 8:53 am on September 30th

carver carver writes: What a waste of time. Please don't waste wood on making papaer to print this pile of crap.
Posted: 7:30 am on September 28th

27BStroke6 27BStroke6 writes: I hate to be the Grinch here, but this is beyond dumb. I remember when this used to be a serious magazine. There, I said it... Crucify me.
Posted: 5:10 pm on September 25th

RobDeb RobDeb writes: Board Thick; An Oxymorphism
Posted: 5:22 pm on September 21st

LearningJim LearningJim writes:
Posted: 10:57 pm on September 20th

LearningJim LearningJim writes: This looks to be a start of a wiki for wood weirdos. Like I know what that means. But hey, I'm just learnin' so I'll stay tuned cause don't know nothing so all I can do is learn. Mentors welcome.

Posted: 10:54 pm on September 20th

stewartpatch stewartpatch writes: I suppose that the chiselephant is the guy who thinks that the only way to use a chisel is to whack it with a hammer.
Posted: 11:01 am on September 17th

Rhysling Rhysling writes: So Ed, what the heck is a "chiselephant" anyway?
Posted: 9:00 am on September 17th

BobDeen BobDeen writes: A few more...

planache - the property exhibited by projects whose every surface is perfectly handplaned.

planic - the feeling you get when you first open a complex plan and have no idea where to start.

planoply - the impressive array of handplanes owned by some collectors.

plythagorean theorem - the mistaken idea that the corners of a sheet of plywood are square.

drill pickle - what you're in when you realize you put the holes in the wrong place.

sawful - a description of the pins after your first attempt at hand-sawing dovetails.

paintitentiary - where people should go who paint over beautiful curly maple grain.

dry run - the sprint to the store made when you run out of glue in the middle of a huge glue-up.

no plane, no grain - no real definition, kind of speaks for itself. ;-)

Posted: 11:22 pm on September 14th

Rhysling Rhysling writes: How about:

Sawitnot - cutting on the wrong side of the line

Chiseling - skimping on the price of your tools

Plane Jane - a female woodworker (no offence ladies)

All Thumbs - any woodworking accident that forces you to count to ten...

Screwt - an expression of exasperation

Bored Feet - a physical complaint involving garage floors and no anti-fatigue mats

Jumbo 747 - another name for a Stanley #8

Hardwear - state of exhaustion that comes from looking for hours under the bench for that very last @#!%$*& 1/4" brass hinge screw
Posted: 10:41 pm on September 14th

BobDeen BobDeen writes: gouCH! - something that happens rather often when using a carving gouge.

I agree with Lutro on jignoramus.

Posted: 8:18 pm on September 14th

Ed_Pirnik Ed_Pirnik writes: Moontoad - that is AWESOME! Keep 'em coming in the comments section. When I make round two - I'll add a whole wack of 'em!

Posted: 12:28 pm on September 12th

Moontoad Moontoad writes: As a beginning woodworker, I experience a lot of what I call "Oblivevents" - the point in any project where a critical error is made in blissful unawareness, to be discovered only later when you think you are nearly done.
Posted: 8:49 am on September 12th

Ed_Pirnik Ed_Pirnik writes: Hey guys,

we've got another full page of more, and will be adding and tweaking this thing. Maybe I WILL make a downloadable version. Why not, right?


Posted: 8:43 am on September 12th

Handtool37 Handtool37 writes: How about the word ARRIDGE, meaning to remove sharp edges. As in "Don't forget to ARRIDGE the edges of the box before you finish stain".
Posted: 4:24 pm on September 11th

Lutro Lutro writes: I'd like to suggest that the definition of "jignoramous" should be the opposite of "jiggernaut", rather than roughly a synonym, as it is now. I propose something like:

Jignoramus: A woodworker who cannot properly invent or build jigs when needed, and whose woodworking is therefore slower, more dangerous, and/or more limited than need be.
Posted: 11:44 am on September 11th

perisher perisher writes: What a great idea! Maybe you could invite some contributions from your readers at large!
Posted: 3:13 am on September 11th

papabutterfly papabutterfly writes: this is so great..get the book into print so we can buy or download would be a super gift
Posted: 11:44 am on September 10th

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