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Ever struggled over the definition of a "jignoramous," or wracked your brain trying to figure what the heck a "chiselephant" is?
We tend to be a rather self-deprecating group here at Fine Woodworking. Case-in-point: I’ve cut plenty of “d’ohvetails” and “d’uhvetails” over the years. Not familiar with those terms? Well take note: our new mock-dictionary of every woodworking term you never knew—because they don’t exist—is beginning to take shape.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you: the first installment of our new “Dictionary of Woodwokring Slang.” Special thanks goes out to our newest associate editor, Ken St. Onge, who spearheaded the campaign to shed light on such forgotten terms as “jignoramus.”
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Carver and Robscaffe:
First of all, if you don't like it, no need for you to participate. Second, I doubt if this little corner of the website is going to affect how "serious" this magazine is one way or the other. Third, I'm getting pretty tired of a trend in our society where everyone who can type seems to think their opinion of something is the last word on the subject.
Did it occur to you that a few of your fellow woodworkers might just be having a bit of fun doing this? Why call it crap if you don't have to? Unless you got frustrated when you couldn't think of anything to offer.
Lighten up guys.
What a waste of time. Please don't waste wood on making papaer to print this pile of crap.
I hate to be the Grinch here, but this is beyond dumb. I remember when this used to be a serious magazine. There, I said it... Crucify me.
Board Thick; An Oxymorphism
This looks to be a start of a wiki for wood weirdos. Like I know what that means. But hey, I'm just learnin' so I'll stay tuned cause don't know nothing so all I can do is learn. Mentors welcome.
I suppose that the chiselephant is the guy who thinks that the only way to use a chisel is to whack it with a hammer.
So Ed, what the heck is a "chiselephant" anyway?
A few more...
planache - the property exhibited by projects whose every surface is perfectly handplaned.
planic - the feeling you get when you first open a complex plan and have no idea where to start.
planoply - the impressive array of handplanes owned by some collectors.
plythagorean theorem - the mistaken idea that the corners of a sheet of plywood are square.
drill pickle - what you're in when you realize you put the holes in the wrong place.
sawful - a description of the pins after your first attempt at hand-sawing dovetails.
paintitentiary - where people should go who paint over beautiful curly maple grain.
dry run - the sprint to the store made when you run out of glue in the middle of a huge glue-up.
no plane, no grain - no real definition, kind of speaks for itself. ;-)
Sawitnot - cutting on the wrong side of the line
Chiseling - skimping on the price of your tools
Plane Jane - a female woodworker (no offence ladies)
All Thumbs - any woodworking accident that forces you to count to ten...
Screwt - an expression of exasperation
Bored Feet - a physical complaint involving garage floors and no anti-fatigue mats
Jumbo 747 - another name for a Stanley #8
Hardwear - state of exhaustion that comes from looking for hours under the bench for that very last @#!%$*& 1/4" brass hinge screw
gouCH! - something that happens rather often when using a carving gouge.
I agree with Lutro on jignoramus.
Moontoad - that is AWESOME! Keep 'em coming in the comments section. When I make round two - I'll add a whole wack of 'em!
As a beginning woodworker, I experience a lot of what I call "Oblivevents" - the point in any project where a critical error is made in blissful unawareness, to be discovered only later when you think you are nearly done.
we've got another full page of more, and will be adding and tweaking this thing. Maybe I WILL make a downloadable version. Why not, right?
How about the word ARRIDGE, meaning to remove sharp edges. As in "Don't forget to ARRIDGE the edges of the box before you finish stain".
I'd like to suggest that the definition of "jignoramous" should be the opposite of "jiggernaut", rather than roughly a synonym, as it is now. I propose something like:
Jignoramus: A woodworker who cannot properly invent or build jigs when needed, and whose woodworking is therefore slower, more dangerous, and/or more limited than need be.
What a great idea! Maybe you could invite some contributions from your readers at large!
this is so great..get the book into print so we can buy or download it..it would be a super gift
I was cutting some dovetails recently. Here are the tools that I use when I cut them with hand tools.
Fast, fun approach to making a comfortable, casual seat
In this video Michael finishes the first of the three boxes. Gluing-up, planing, sanding and finishing bring a new piece of art to the world.
In this video Michael starts work on the second box, a carved and painted Saddle lid box.
Michael begins carving the saddle lid box with his ripple pattern along the top. Then turns to his 5/30 gouge to texture the sides of the box. This isn't work…
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