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This outtake from a recent photo shoot just begs to be captioned with a funny one-liner. Take a shot and you might end up with a matched set of handplanes made by Matt himself.
UPDATE with the winning caption: Wow! I can’t believe how many people took a crack at winning the planes. I’m very impressed, but I guess I’ll make this brief and just announce the winner. That’s what everyone wants to know anyway. And the winner is: JL Young, who was the seventh person to post a caption. Here’s the winning caption: “Look deeep into my eyes……..Subscribe…to…Fine… Woodworking.” Thanks to everyone for participating. We’ll have to try something like this again then next time I make a tool. (I did just make a vacuum press. Anyone interested? Kidding, of course!)
Ever since I first blogged about my grooving planes, I’ve gotten a lot of requests to explain how I made them. In fact, some folks even emailed me on a regular basis to ask when I would get that done (Hello Al!). After my fellow editors saw the planes, they thought it would be a good idea to share them with our readers, so I wrote a short article explaining how to make them. It appears in the issue of Fine Woodworking that is just about to land in mailboxes and newstands. Look for it in the Handwork section of the magazine.
For the article, I ended up making another pair of the planes. Of course, I don’t need two pairs, so I thought it would be fun to give them away to one of you. Interested? If so, just write a funny caption for the picture below. That goofy fellow is me and I don’t mind some good natured ribbing. We’ll pick a winner on April 29th and I’ll post the winner’s name and caption here. Good luck and have fun.
One more thing: If you want to make a pair for yourself, you can buy the blades from Lie-Nielsen. I made mine from a pair of molding plane blanks, but had to do all the grinding and heat treating myself. The new ones from Lie-Nielsen save you that bit of dirty work.
Caption Copy, Anyone?Post your creative caption for this outtake from our recent article on shopmade grooving planes in the comments section at the bottom of this blog post.
More on Handplane Tech• How to Make a Pair of Grooving Planes • Video: How to Flatten a Handplane Sole • Handplane Tune-up • Video: How to Choose the Right Smoothing Plane
We're profiling how to make a matched set of grooving planes in issue 219, and to make things a bit more interesting, we're giving away a set to the reader who comes up with the most creative caption!
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oh wow... yea that winning caption was terrible... from a business/marketing major I can tell you with knowledge of this type of thing... and wow.... can we really blame social media for the collapse in journalistic integrity? ..... or are we just all jumping on the bandwagon straight to mad libbing the new york times...
Something along the lines of "Now lets shape your Groove thing" .... or "shaping your groove thing" ... to make a play on shake your groove thing... obviously. or just plain old "Shape Your Groove Thing" yep, thats the one. simple, yet effective... and not too cheesy! I guess they are teaching me SOMETHING in my second year majoring in marketing and business at UofM!
Does this grooving plane go with my apron?
Do you think this grooving plane makes me look fat?
I think I just put a groove in my finger
"Groovinn.... on a Sunday afternoon..."
"Best of all, you too can make a set, just like these, in a few easy steps. I'll show you how!"
After carefully removing the nail from my left thumb, I place the severed nail against the wedge of the plane. Then, I am ready to plane a perfect thumbnail profile on the edge of this workpiece.
What you want a Piece of me.
What do you mean they have power tools that can do this?
No disrespect to the winner, but the winning comment didn't have anything to do with the photo shown. I'm disappointed that more creativity wasn't involved in the evaluation.
Matt looks up with disbelief and wonder as he is notified of his invitation to the Royal Wedding!
Yes there is a right and a left way to use these planes!
Wow, Matt, 840+ submissions!
Seems to me like a great response!
As an editor, you may appreciate
my edited version:
Our editor, Matt, from Connecticut,
Did not look down on the grooves that-he-cut,
His planes were handmade,
And with them he displayed,
His version of Fine Woodworking etiquette!
"Am i doing it right?"
There once was a man from Connecticut,
Who did not look down at the grooves that-he-cut,
The planes were handmade,
And with them he displayed,
An example of Fine Woodworking etiquette.
Sometime there isn't a Christian word to describe how you feel, especially just after cutting a groove across your fingernail.
...and it's just that easy, OH #@$#!!!
What, I gotta make two more planes??!!?? And I gotta give them away??!!?? C'mon, man!!
Well let me tell you... I don't think there is anything more pleasing then to hear a plane you have made peal off little curls of wood, it's why i love hand tools ....
I never said anything going airplaneing, I said I was going to do some planeing
"The best way to demonstrate the smoothing plane was to use my scalp. So the best way to demonstrate the grooving plane must be to use my butt!"
In this 2011 update of "The Addams Family," Matthew Kenney portrays wacky Uncle Fester, shown here waiting for Thing to emerge from his box to lend a helping hand.
Just GROOVIN ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON. COULD'NT GET AWAY TO SOON.
Caption: "Feelin' Groovy?"
"Looking for fun and deep satisfaction? - Feelin Groovy"
"With a pair of these handplanes you'll be feeling groovey in no time"
"You want fries with that?
These grooving planes are really versatile - AND I've saved a ton of money on haircuts since I made them!
Take the bloody picture alr*click*eady
What do you mean..."the hole's not for trimming cigars"?
Oh! I didn't see you come in... you got a pretty mouth boy...
I wish, I could remember what I was going to next. OH! I remember, no that wasn't it. OH well!
La la la la la laaaaa, feelin' groovy... groovy...
Second place wins a foot powered pole lathe.
Hey Matt, what's wrong, I've been doing this for hours and there still isn't any groove.
Make my day!!!
Planing art in a groovy plane of thought.
I don't split hairs when it comes to making a quality hand made plane.
Yes, it is a "grooving" plane!
Hi my name is Matt Kenny I'm not only the Groove club president I'm also a client!
'Ow! I think that I just planed a groove through my right thumb!'
Moby shows off his humidor.
Yes, Charlie Brown is my relative.
Hurry up and take the picture! I really have to pee!
Experience the passion, enjoyment and accuracy of using hand tools.
step 1, always remember to move your fingers away from the area to be planed. (don't ask how i know about that)
Yes that's right!! This is how I get my groove on.
Whoops! This groove is too narrow, let me change channels.
I'm afraid they don't come in pink extra long versions. Something made you think they did?
I believe I've discovered a new twist to a plane rut!
Yes, this is an apron, but I'm not cooking.....and these shavings are not onions and I'm not crying!....but I do need a band-aid....hurry!
You think I am doing What?
get in the groove, with just plane wood.
A very smooth move to get in the groove!
"In the trenches with Matt!"
"Just Plane Groovy!"
Groovin' to a fine line!
Does this apron make me look fat?
Look at me I can groove without looking!!!
I really must concentrate and get back in the groove!
What do you mean I have to give these away? How about I give away my old ones instead!
... and if you call within the next 15 minutes I'll throw in another plane for free!
Life is just plane groovy!
How Matthew got his groove back...
Doing things by hand is the "green" way to go, with the cost of electricity these work great and are energy efficient.
...choosing stains?...I thought you said we were covering grooving planes. These are handmade!!
Outtake? Whaddya mean outtake. This is a great picture of me. Why does every picture of me end up on the cutting room floor? Asa, Michael, Chris...they all get closeups. Me? I'm just a hand model. Fine Gardening said they would give me a centerfold.
Why yes my wardrobe reflects my passion for woodworking. The apron represents dark walnut and the blue and light brown shirt represents walnut's sapwood and the water it holds. Oh, I'm so sorry you were asking about the tools?
You talkin' to me? You talkin' to ME? Well I'm the only one here.
Start off with a little, than a little bit more, than some more....dam too much!
Plane For the Perfect Grove...Easy to make
Plane For the Perfect Grove...Even You can Make it
This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy stayed at home,and this little piggy Whoops.
Mummy, I just did a silly thing don't leave me.
Cuts so sweet I cut too deep
What did the groove plane say to the woodworker? Stuck in a rut?
Do I amuse you?
Experience the hair-raising excitement of building your very own grooving planes.
If photographed at the right angle, no one will notice it didn't cut anything...
Hello woodworkers what ya knowing, did you come to see my shavin' pile growin'
Would you like to win some groovin' planes? Do do do do ...........Feeling Groovy.
[matt] Whadda you mean, "Cut" I have already cut the darn grooves. [man behind the camera] Well, I forgot to turn the camera on so just fake it so we can get this in the can. [matt] How about I put you in the can you %^# idiot.
Grooving,on a Sunday afternoon...
$%^**&^%#, GOD that HURTS
Getting Groovy in the workshop: Aprons and flannel are finally back in style! Ok just kidding but only about the apron and flannel. Our Matt Kenney show you how to get a good groove going on your projects without the danger and dust or power tools.
It's not doing anything...Oh no, I forgot to build the battery compartment.
For this photo shoot, can I get my usual fee plus a free haircut?
What! You want me to give these planes away!
... and after just 15 hours of hard work we have groove. Next one will be faster... (if I will remember where the planes are)
Well yes, it does work.
Yes I am single, why do you ask?
Freud Stacked Slotting Set - $100
Triton 2 1/4 HP router - $230
Oneida 1.5 HP Mini Gorilla - $980
Jessem Rout-R-Plate Table - $400
Grooving planes that I can use while the rest of my house sleeps - Priceless.
Why? Because it is Sunday afternoon.
In an effort to reach a broader audience, Matt Kenney was selected to succeed Billy Mays as a direct response advertising salesperson.
And that folks is why you try to ignore the camera. It seems that I just sheared off the tip of my finger. It's here somewhere, have you seen it?
See what I did there? It's that plane easy! Right Mr. bigglesworth?
There was a man from Camden
Who made boxes with a saw.
His joy was not at the machine end
So he built a box "au natural".
Goofy lookin',but plane groovy!
Just like an air traffic controller . . . you can even do this in your sleep!
"What do you mean i should add more dust to make it look like im a real woodworker?!!!"
How Matthew Kenney got his groove back!
Wait....what was I talking about???
...does all that and more!And if you call right now I'll throw in a set of shopmade ginsu knives ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Hey Daddy-o, It's just groovy working in the joint were I work wood in the groove listening to the sounds of my hand planes cutting wood.
You'll find that these planes make such a sweet, sweet groove, they are worthy of exhibit in the Louvre.
"It puts a groove in the wood. It does whatever it's told. Now it places the planes in the basket. Put the planes in the basket!"
... and now I demonstrate how I get my groove on.
But Wait! There's MORE!!
See in back? They ship-lap too!
See Bob I told you these grooves were easy. You want a set? Make em yourself.
See Bob I told you these grooves were easy to make. You want a set? Make em yourself!
I can't look ... how bad am I bleeding?
Your instructions on planing are so clear that I don't even have to look at my board while working on it. Thank you Fine Woodworking !
Put that camera down and hand me the router!
Can I keep the planes and give away this flannel shirt instead?
My barber even uses these planes!
Now let me get this straight. There's a way to do this with electricity? You're kidding, right?
Look at the wood, not the camera, otherwise you trim you thumbnail like I just did! OOOOWWW!
Yes these will make Tab A and Slot B, but remeber it is Tab A into Slot A and Tab B into Slot B.
It's an optimystical, practicabeautiful, experience !!
Forged, heat treated, ground
Matt Kenney’s planes were we found,
It slices, it dices! Ooo, I feel just like Julia Childs! La, la laaaa!
If this was a tablesaw could i do this?
Yes!?! I AM in the groove!
Now, could you please get me out of it!
I never knew "plane" could be so much fun!
Did I say DADO? I meant Groove..Groove I never could keep those straight.
You never have enough tools (planes)
Tsk! Groovy? That's your take?
Groov'n planes hipper than my plaid shirt!
A fingernail-trimming shooting board seemed like a good idea!
Groovy planes, but not as groovy as my farmer's tan!
"...and this is how you lacerate your fingers!"
"tlofurniture, you won the planes!"
-Matthew Kenney, Senior Editor
The world first blind woodworker
Thought bubble: (I like kitties)
"I'll just make this little groove right here. That'll be our little sectet."
-Bob Ross on his new show, "The Joy of Grooving", and a brave new spokesman for male pattern baldness.
I love a good plane that can make curly ribons, it makes me want to sing... Curly Q-I Love You!
Would you believe I can't find my router.
For the last time, Yes! I used to be a surgeon.
Oh my, I think I just took the tip off my right index finger!
As you can see hand planing is very easy and requires little effort.
FW - taking the plain out of planing.
“Wait, wait, just one more take, please don't call in that CS guy, I know I can do it.”
April 29th, perfect day for a birthday (present).
No dust, no noise, and a place to put that extra finger.
"Groovy .... on any afternoon"
Woodworking without dust, halalulia.
Next, we'll use a pair of shop-made shoulder planes to straighten up these uneven shoulders of mine.
Uh Oh! I think I just gooved my thumb. I have to stop looking at the camera.
"What? Me worry?
Where do I plug this thing in?
Do WHAT! You want me to GIVE these away!
Planes to the left of me,
Small box project to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the groove with you.
Man, I'm in the groove!
I'm not changing it. It's my favorite shirt!
Cleared for Landing!
We cropped this shot in close so you can't see the table saw dado setup that I used to make this box...but really, these grooving planes work really well too.
I bet my hair these would be hard to make.
Now I have to learn to sharpen the blades using my right hand also.
Today on Julia Child's Kitchen we will be preparing........
You want me to give them my what?!!
These aren't called grooving planes? Why didn't anyone tell me that before now?
Of course the reason I made two of these handy tools is so I can keep the left-handed hand plane for myself!
I am totally green. no noise except the song of the plane as it sings to me
There's the groove for the drawer bottom. Now if I can just learn to cut dovetails, I'll have a drawer!
"Easy smeasy....DOH!!!!!...thats going to leave a mark!"
Yo Matt . . . . if I knew you were making an extra pair for me . . . I wouldn't have kept bugging you for the directions!
I laughed when I read your post, "Hello, Al"!
Dang . . . If only I could remember where I put those dado blades. :(
This freakin thing is sharp, I just lost 3 fingers and a thumb!
Sometimes ya gotta respect the wood and shape it, not torture it!
I should've had Norm do this!!!!
"Now we'll try it with the blade installed."
What? Only 675 entries? Doesn't anybody want these things? Just kidding of course. Great job every body. Of course, I had no idea that groovy could be worked into so many different statements. And oh, thanks to everyone for pointing out all of my shortcomings (farmer's tan, baldness, ugly plaid shirt, etc.). Remind me not to invite you folks over on a regular basis!
Next I'll show how to personalize your plane with an inlay of human skin! All made possible with matching grooving planes.
Well it is a HAND plane afterall!!
If I would have made these for a 1/4" groove I could have kept them!
Groovy is as groovy does.
Feelin' groovy is just sooo faaarrrrr out!!!!
And I do what next ?
And now I will show you the newest thing in cosmetology - grooved nails.
Was that my finger?
No, this is a grooving plane. I use the smoothing plane to comb my hair.
GROOVY IS AS GROOVY DOES
That camera is soooooooo pretty.......
What do you mean "the plane iron just hit the floor?"
You're the GROOVY GROOVER if there ever was one!
Planely, This is how I got my groove on.
You can make this plane for the price of a haircut!
"Just Plane Groovy"
"And remember, to always watch where you are cutting with hand tools. It will avoid damage to your work piece, and possible loss of fingers. Like the three on my left hand."
My wife thinks I'm working!
caption: In the wood (to groove)
This must be the fellow from "Planes,Trains and Automobiles
Get that camera out of my face can't u see I'm in a groove?
"And the plane just went through my thumb like butter" Is the camera still running?
Notice how I can present a neutral expression as I groove my thumb.
What do you mean the other pair is broken? I'm not giving them mine!
"Nothing gets you into the groove like a pair of handmade grooving planes", says senior editor Matthew Kenney.
I spent years trying to understand the Mona Lisa smile and now this?
What do you mean you lost all the pictures! You want me to make these again?
An easier way of getting your groove on :)
Nothing says "woodworking" like hairy arms and a good plane. On second thought, I should probably let the planes speak for themselves.
That is all there is to it. Questions?
So easy, even an editor can do it!
Yes.. I do have other short sleeve flannel shirts!
Just remember, These planes are wonderful for woodworking. Do NOT try to use them in metalworking.
What do you mean "the groove goes on the other side?"
"Send this to the moron at table 4 who says our fettuccine is always too soft!"
Just "Groovin" On A Sunday afternoon
This is how I get my grove on!
Plane crazy about woodworking.
I had forgotten how tired I can quickly become by doing this!
Now I'll demonstrate how endagered groving plane shavings can be mistaken for the extinct dado turds.
The plane truth.
My parents went to Newtown and I'll I got was these groovin' planes.
Four grooves and seven saw-dusts ago our fine woodworking fathers planely brought us a groovy groover.
It's a great feeling to use a shop-made tool that works as well as this one does.
Customized Tools for a Personal Groove
Seriously, you forgot to remove the lens cap?
"Cruising in the Groove"
Mom, you forgot your humidor again!! I have to remind her these are grooving planes and not cigar cutters.
"Plane" and simple, Matt Kinney was elated by the prospect of the endless puns that his latest article was bound to inspire.
Getting in the Grove is so hard in plaid!
The best way to stay in the groove is to make one.
It's plane to see you can get into the groove.
Rats! If I would have watched what I was doing, instead of Movin' and a Groovin', I won't of cut up the top of my workbench!
Custom M.Kenny Grooving Planes; now for sale at finewoodworkings online store. Order yours today.
and that is the "plane truth".
White men can groove too!
I'm thinking I might ask out that new chick from Lie-Nielsen. If things go well I might be showing her my groove-face. "Groove... Groove... Groove!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Groove!"
. . . if you keep it nice and sharp, you can shave your head with it.
When cutting a groove, always take stock of your fingers: 1, 2, 3, 4... Uh OH!
Check me out as I get all groovy with my bad, plaid clad self!
Another way I use these planes is for making snacks in the kitchen. I like to use them on celery to get a perfect groove down the center of the stalk. It makes it a lot easier to get the peanut butter to look uniform, and my guests just love it!
So... I pushed it to the end... and then what do I do?
It's amazing how easy it is to get the grooves. Now I'm using my new plane WITH the blade.
Yes, I do have a farmers tan!
This is a real groovy nail parer!
Matt appears perplexed as the photographer snaps his picture and exclaims, "I'll call it MATT Gets His Grove On." "what don't ya get it?"
What do you mean "you changed your mind and now want a ROUND box"??
Tounging the Groove!
TRYING to be groovy!
I thought you wanted a salami slicer!
That's the last time I'll ever make a "Chinese finger puzzle" plane. Now if only I can remember how to extricate my thumbs from this thing...
At THIS rate, it will take all night to do this whole board!
Matt Kenney was meditating while planing a drawer when he suddenly understood the meaning of life. Thousands now seek out Buddha Kenney to learn enlightenment through grooving planes.
My wife wanted to know why I have 4 router tables, 17 routers and make all that noise, when I could have made a couple of these planes years ago and not kept her up all night finishing those last minute projects.
Woodworking can be Groovy
OK Matt, now for the money shot! Can we get a shot of you using both of them at the same time? Uh, Matt ...
grooving the easy way, without hearing protection.
Good Shave? I use a straight edge razor. This is for woodworking. Duh!
Now power tool users everywhere can work guilt-free with the "Insta Kenney". Simply unpack this faux pro from his fine crafted storage box, prop him up next to your bench, and machine away!
Oops.... that was a finger.....
You really think I look like Moby???!!!!
In a dark, twisted world, senior editor, Matthew Kenney is dumbfounded when confronted in his workshop by…Al!
My first real chance on live TV; and I just pooped in my pants!
After weeks of sole searching, I've finally found my groove!
It was plane to see.
For all of you who've been grooving for these planes...
(In Dan Ackroyd's Julia Child voice . . )
"Right, so in order to have a smooth groove we have to have a very sharp plane, and give it good shove forward . . . . Oh, now I've done it, I've cut the dickens out of my finger . . . You know, I'm glad in a way this happened, we spend so much time in the shop but never discuss what to do when you nearly take your finger off . . . oooo . . . .as it happens, sawdust is quite good as a coagulant to help slow the bleeding . . . Why are you all s-s-spinning . . . . I'm remembering a time when I was a little boy and I had a dog named Amber . . . . I, I think I'm going to go to sleep now . . . ."
Why did I bet I would shave my head if these planes weren't great?
I don't care if it was good for you...it was great for me.
Do you seriously want me to mail these to New Zealand?
Uhmmm? What was I saying?
You know you've done a good job sharpening when the end of yur finger comes off with almost no pain at all.
And now the latest in our spring fashion collection.
For woodworkers: Note the new deeper colours of our aprons and the coordinated plaid. Also the slightly shorter sleeves allowing more freedom of movement. A true fashion statement for the sophisticated artisan.
"Uh!" "Am i doin' this right?" "I need to finish this thing...I've gotta a PLANE to catch"
Give a man a groove plane he will thank you for a day. Teach him how to make groove plains and he will be out of your hair for a lifetime. (Bye Al!)
I'd give away these beautiful grooving planes and my right arm for a full head of hair!
Hi, I'm groovy groovin' Matt. If your into bald guys who wear plaid and an apron, call me.
This is plane silly! Enough takes already!
I came, I saw, I grove planed.
Now here's a plane that you can highjack !
Did anyone see the grooves on those twins!!
♪♪ Shake your groove plane, shake your groove plane, yah, yah, show 'em how to build 'em now. ♪♪♪
Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da...Feelin' Groovy
Im smooth like macaroni.
Safety lesson #1: Always be sure to keep your eye on the cameraman.
Let me break it on down for you.
I...I don't believe...did you see that? The wood actually WINKED at me!!!
Oh hai, I can has hand planes?
The plane in Maine goes mostly with the grain.
If you write a clever caption, Matt will give you BOTH planes! Yes, you heard right! He'll even give you the one that works (after he got the design right.) Plane groovy, ain't it?
and....a 1/8 inch groove in your fingernail can be filled in with a few shavings and some titebond!
And you waited until NOW to tell me I could have done this with a power tool!?!
Da plane! Da plane
Its just very plane and simple!
Groovin' on a Sunday afternoon... or any afternoon...
Pay no attention to that bald guy holding the plane - the groove is down here!
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's super Matt!!!
Uh . . . remember what I said about not putting your bench dog directly in line with the groove?
This tool is just plane groovy!
I can't believe all you guys out there are watching me and no one could bring me a cup of coffee!
When I finish showing you these planes, I think I'll
extend my subscription to fine woodworking....
Does anyone know if Fine Woodworking has a plan for a wider bench than the one I'm using now ??
In the next issue I will show you an attachment to these planes for sharpening your pencils!
Don't you need a grooving plane to make a grooving to maike a grooving plane???
Tell me the truth, does this plane make me look fat?
Dude! This is SO smooth!
Hey you WOODCHUCKS, QUIT chucking my WOOD!
Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da...Feelin' Groovy.
Yes, apparently it does trim thumbnails also!
Once again we prove
another smooth move
to make or improve
any kind of groove.
See, much easier than selling cars.
Just getting my groove on.
Let's get groovy!
I simply will not complane about this pair
...and there you have it...perfectly trimmed and grooved finger nails.
Would you buy a couple of used planes from this man?
It doesn't work by pulling it back?
Just groovin' along, mindin' my own business.
Once you finish making these planes, you can really get your groove on.
Caption: This is so groovy I can't talk right now.
I can't explain this plane!
Hand tool man wonders how picture making machine works.
You're kidding me! You mean everyone doesn't have a pair of these?
Planers do it with a groove.
Now without even looking you can easily make a groove in your board...or hand. Yeeeeouch!!!! Someone please get the first aid kit! Our next shop project will be the revered wood stretcher.
"Do or do not...there is no try" - Yoda
A plain planer
to groove or not to groove that is the question. well it would be a lot easier with my new groove plane.right....
MY FINGER POINTS!!!! I implore you to reconsider.
I'm not really a woodworker,I just play one on FWW.com.
Folks, I've just grooved my fingernails. Turn off the cameras! Yeeeeeoooowww!
These blades are so sharp that I shaved my head, then grooved a panel.
Always, ALWAYS keep fingers clear!
In the Groove!
It also works great for trimming your fingernails.
I think that last slice went through my thumb!
Now add the sauce and stir through, making sure it throughly coats the...sorry, thought I was Nigella for a moment.
Um, wanna see how to make a really cool groove in your index finger?
Now do you believe me that cordless routers are quiet.
All right, that's it. If you break wind again you will have to leave my shop for good!!
What do you mean? There are other ways to make a groove?
OK, who brought the cool kid with the hand planes?
Does anyone remember why I'm cutting these grooves?
Check the bottom of your shoe -- I smell somthing and it's not perfume!!
Well, look what the cat dragged in!!
Oh, yeah -- don't give up your day job!!
If that's supposed to be funny, you've got another think coming!!
You want to see my WHAT?
Important safety tip folks - Always look where you're planing. Damn it, I think I just planed off the tip of my index finger !
Finally a reminder from our Legal department: Although these are hand tools, they should not be used ON your hands.
For silky smooth results every time, try the new Gillette Groom-n-Groove. Now, unwanted hair—and hardwood—is a thing of the past.
Does this make me look silly??
If you don't stop that, I'll have to call your mother!!
I plane, I groove, I inlay.
After efforts to earn his Barbering Merit Badge went awry, Matthew decided to try his hand at Woodworking.
Put that thing down before you hurt yourself!!!
What exactly does that gesture mean??? ... oh, really -- sorry I asked!!
After a tragic woodshop accident ripped the sleeves off his flannel shirt and caused his beard and hair to fall out, Norm Abram retired from TV and began a new career using only hand tools.
Wow! I didn't know you could get plywood made from redwood!
I said ..."Of course, I don't need two pairs." Of course I lied.
Ooops. I think I should have moved my fingers.
"Grooooving . . . On a Sunday Afternoon"
But if you respond in the next 30 minutes we will send you two. Just pay shipping and handling for the second one.
I'm done with the grooves, are you still fiddling with that camera? Take the picture already!! What? You did? Oh.
Fingernail trimming with hand planes is safe, fun and quiet.
"I appeared to be more groovy when I had long hair back in the 1970's."
It's groovy to be grooving with these groovy grooving planes.
Say it three times as fast as you can to win!
Not only does it cut grooves, it also SLICES and DICES... and if you ORDER NOW, we'll also include our patented super deluxe 3-in-1 4-speed automatic kumkwat peeler.
Matthew, I can't believe 470 some odd woodworkers posting bs here just to get a crack on the home made planes.
My comment when I see that picture is; Matthew is a fine Christian name, I hope you live up to that; I have 14 kids myself, most all have nice Christian names, and you would fit right in with my bunch; I like your "studio shop" with the T1-11 paneling on the background with all the wooden handle chisels spaciously decorating the wall; it looks like you were ready to say something when they shot the picture, something like "did you take the picture already?"; then right after you do your photo shot you take off your apron and go right back to your desk right around the corner to finish editing the next Fine Woodworking magazine.
Oh no, I fell in the same trap as 470 before me.
This is the way we plane our dados, plane our dados, plane our dados, so early in the morning...
Hey, my plane irons are razor sharp... my razor? Not so much.
Two planes. I made two planes, one for each direction of grain. So, which one did I pick for the cut I just made!?
Please use these only if you are in walking distance to a hospital...
Now if I could just figure out how to make one contoured to my head, this would make morning grooming faster.
"Sh!t, I just grooved my pool shooting thumb!!!"
"Shake your Groove Thing"
"OK, now that my right thumb is the correct thickness for the next project, back to you Norm..."
Despite my high school friends thoughts to the contrary, I really am a groovey kind of guy!
Ummm, my left-hand plane just removed my right thumb. That wasn't in the script!!!
The plane is so light, it must be held down with two hands.
Hmmm, I wonder if this plane is hiding the arterial spray....?
"Look, Mom, no fingers!"
Yes, I like my tablesaw, but I love my FINGERS more.
Cutting grooves in lignum vitae? REALLY?
"Be a groove master in a flash with these planes"
You think YOU'RE surprised that these things work!
Yes I really do this for a living.
Don't look now, wait until I'm finished!
Geez, I used the left hand plane on the right side panel!
Developing a groovy kind of love for grooving planes
Uncle Fester: "Thing just went to get the mail. He'll be back momentarily. Perhaps you'd like me to try out some of these nifty torture devices on you, while you wait."
SHOP MADE GROOVING PLANES FOR A SUSTAINABLE SHOP
Into the groove, out of the router rut
See how easy it is to stay in the groove?
And of course, these homemade grooving planes work equally well at removing fingertips so PLEEEASE be careful, OUCH!
Put another notch in your toolbelt with these great grooving planes!
And notice how it groves thumbs just as easily and smoothly as both hard and softwoods.
Variations on a theme:
And, since I am playing a shop teacher today, I will now remove part of my thumb.
It is important, when playing the part of shop teacher, to remove just the right amount of thumb.
Of course I meant to take off the tip of my thumb -- I'm playing shop teacher today!
Well of course this is a right handed plane, the other one is a left handed plane. No, they don't come in metric...
"Neither a router nor a dadoer be; For a dado oft loses both itself and friend, and routing dulls the edge of craft". - Hal-matt (Act I, Scene III).
Smooth to the Groove
And we can easily finish this project tomorrow!
The Plane Facts: How Woodworkers Get Their Groove On
Woodworkers: How they get their groove on.
I asked Chris, "Why do I have to put this box in the picture?" but he won't text me back. I'm sure he'll explain when he gets back from the trade show.
It's plane - Matt's moovin and groovin!
The results are a real smooth surface...just look at my head.
Yea Man! Proving I'm grooving.
...and I want NO complaints when you discover you just made left-handed grooving planes.
It's a hand tool... and don't call me "Norm."
˝Sorry guys. I seem to be stuck here. Can somebody come and pull my finger?˝
"As you can see, with a minor adjustment in the plane iron, it dose a groovy job of trimming my hair and fingernails too!"
Do you hear that groovy music?
No Dear, I have not seen your case-hardened scissors.
Wait, no I didn't say "Groovy planes with blades by Liam Neeson"!
Caption: "Wanna see my hand-cut fingernails?"
No honey, that's ok if you forgot to pay last month's utility bill, I'm dealing with it for now. Man, I love these two babies...No honey I said "love you too, baby".
I feel just plane stupid!
And next week, if I stay on my medication, the Doctors are gonna let me groove on a real project
This may not be the best time but....will you marry me?
Groove is in the heart.....
Growing pains with grooving planes
Saftety glasses, shmafety glasses...what I need is a tourniquet.
If you hold really still you can trim all your nails at the same time.
Switch hitter planes
These planes can make even YOU look groovy!
How do you spell "ROUTER"?
Get in the Groove, plane and simple.
You want me to do WHAT? Put a groove in Purpleheart?
Nails done? Check
And behind me, those lovely shiplap wallboards were produced with this very plane.
... what do you mean, "you just planed the workbench"?
Yes, a plaid shirt does make me a woodworker!
... and next month, we're going to teach you how to make this nifty storage box for your planes.
Yes, I just did my nails and now I will core a apple!
Remember, guys, "Necessity is the mother of invention". These planes do groovy things. Why reinvent the wheel?
Great picture of the plane and the bench hook. Now, if we could just see the workpiece...
Uh..Guys...I think I just Sh#t my pants.
I think I've just sliced my thumb
For a first project. You can use them to build a box to store them in.
Yes, dear. I'm cutting the cheese for the party now...
Keep my eyes on my work!! What d ya mean? I'm already done with the box so I decided to put some "blind" grooves in, er, oops that's my workbench.
"It's a Groovy Kind of Love."
planes smoother than my head!
Lets get to feelin Groovy
What do you mean, it is supposed to be a right hand grove?
Get your groove on!
Can you see this?? It's actually putting a groove here in the wood. These things really work! I'm a genius!!
Matthew Kenney demonstrates Zen woodworking: "You don't need to SEE the wood, if you can BE the wood."
Batteries not included!
Now kids, don't try this at home -- unless you remember to watch what you're doing.
Look, it's so easy a caveman could do it...
Finally, ambidextrous planes.
I am ready for my close up!
Walnut shavings from plywood? That's not walnut. It's English Elm. And it's an old alchemy trick I learned in school that lets me turn birch ply into imported English elm. Of course, I can't share that trick with you.
Did you take the shot yet?
Howz my hair? Howz the glare? ;-)
Keep smiling you fool this is the last take, after all, t's only a thumbnail...
You look like your daydreaming.Watch your fingers.
Wrong Edge? Whoops!
Feeling groovy? That router moves too fast, slow down take it easy with these hand made wooden grooving planes. Feeling groovy.
What do you mean "I just hit the record button."?
OK gang, lets get more seriouser! How about "Neat shavings, a smooth groove and no noise or dust!"
How did Sam Maloof make all those darn chairs?
What? Me Worry?
Hmmm, need to take a little off the right shoulder to even things out...
All these years as a tree hugger and I never knew that wood was so much fun to work with. Now I have gone from being in a rut to being groovy.
But it can't be blood. This is only a hand tool!
These are so easy to use, I don't even have to look!
Would You look and see if my thumb is still there.
... and just keep planing until all fingernails are an even, attractive oval shape.
I'm sorry, but after reading randyklein's "Walnut shavings from Birch ply - Shocking." I can't think of anything else.
"I've just discovered that these planes are 'woody material' in more ways than one!"
Your box. My wood. Groovy.
Irrelevant; right or left; either one - it's a pushme/pullyou.
"I think my zipper is down, I hope that my shop apron covers it up for the picture."
And remember, it is not a manacure tool.
"They MAKE MY DAY"
These are two great planes, I'm very surprized that someone has not started producing them in quantity!
Not all grooves are equal so there are two planes for the shop.
caption: A groove plane that really flys!
What do you mean "the groove goes on the OTHER side???
In our latest issue, Moby decides to take on a new type of groove.
[Refer to pictures of techno artist Moby...it's uncanny]
"You still here?"
When woodworking with new tools, never say anything more predictive than, "Watch this."
What are you looking at? Of course I can cut a groove without power tools!
To make a grooving plane, you need...a grooving plane.
Go Green, use my plane groovin' machine.
Not one to be outdone by Greg Paolini, Matthew Kenney sets out on an amazing journey for "The Most Ridiculous Photo Ever" where he rediscovers himself and auditions for the hit comedy series "Glee"
Making your first grooving plane will be faster and more accurate if you use a grooving plane.
Shave and a haircut?
Only at Fine Woodworking can one learn how to make a left handed groove with a right handed grooving plane!!
While I hate posing for these photos, I just love using these grooving planes. I hope you will too.
How sweet it is!
Goofy guy makes Grooving planes. Really.
Being in the proper groove...is a clean way to success!
I told you - it doesn't have a plug.
Cordless router with variable speed control.
What will I do with them when they are made?
It's a Groove Thang!
Finally, I found my groove!
Groovin on up!
"Don't try this on Grandma's antique table"
I made this nice box (to my right) using only this grooving plane!
Just Groove it!
"Me and my plane... like it!"
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Plane and Simple... You can Groove it!
When at first you succeed, try not to look surprised!
While groovin' he's groovin' how groovey.
these little rascals are really going to impress my Stella. Can't wait to get home.
Oopps! What did I grove now?
These cordless grooving planes will outlast any Lithium-Ion tools currently on the market!
"Groovin - and no router required"
Oopps! What did I groove now?
Gee, did I remember to let the dog back in before I rushed off to this photo shoot?
Be sure to get my good side. This is my audition tape for "Tool Time".
And there you have it.... bob's your uncle.
"What, me, groovy??"
Hi I'm Matt and if it wasn't for these groovy planes and short sleeve plaid shirt I would be so damn uncool.
Note to self: Move fingers on right hand out of the plane's path. HOLY &%$#!
You see Ma? I told you this shirt would lighten up the set. And Norm, don't you dare, I did it first!
Hi I'm Matt and grooving planes are your friend.
Hi I'm Matt and you're watching this week's installment of "Groovin with Bald Guys"
Shake your Groove thing
Get into the groove...boy you've got to prove your up to me.
"slow hands and an easy touch"
Matthew "getting his groove on!"
Leys see now, where was I?
Norm taught me this simple way to manicure my nails when I visited the New Yankee Workshop.
Walnut shavings from Birch ply - Shocking.
huh... wooden' have guessed it, but it works!
No really, I made them myself....Yes I did....Yes I did.
"Groovin' up simply"
Moby shows us that tea and turn tables aren't his only talents!
After you knead the dough for three or four minutes you're going to want to put it in a bowl, cover it, and let it rise for....
Oh wait, the teleprompter has the script for my cooking show!
Look mom a groove.
I love this grooving plane but, does this apron make me look - you know - fat?
Norm Abrams would never do it this way...
Groovin' on a Sunday afternoon
Groove Planes this issue, Funk Chisels coming soon. Glue-up on the down stroke as we build the mothership, stain it James Brown, and set sail to the soul center of the woodworking universe.
I had a burrito for lunch and it's killing me.
Easy as pie...and Groovy too!
This beats working in a cubicle
you want to groove--you want to groove--You can't handle the groove!
See I can cut a groove without even looking down....ouch!
are we done with this segment yet? this hand tool thing is getting old.
These have got to be the grooviest planes I have ever used...
I made these planes and they actually work - Wow!
And the best thing about hand tools...no ear muffs!
Movin' an' groovin' to the music.
It's a quick, clean and easy way to trim all your finger nails in one swipe!
See how this plane works on the left hand groove.
Want to see me do the right hand groove with the other plane?
“Last time, I showed you how to use smoothing planes for a perfect hair style. This week, we’ll deal with some pesky cuticles!”
Man, I'm Grovin
And if you think this looks easy you should try it right handed!
"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the froe do you think you're talking to?"
Groove in a box
My grooving planes allow me to confidently groove in the shop.
But a toupée allows me to confidently groove outside the shop.
Okay, okay, I'll give away the plain set but I'm keeping the plaid ones for myself!
I told you I wanted to fix my hair before you took the picture!
"Seriously!? They forgot the duck sauce again!?
Get down & get groovy with Matt.
and...there goes my finger
Operation is simple - just repeatedly push forward until you burnish the tops of your arms.
Tell me I didn't just take off the end of my finger!
He groves as he moves with his hand as he stands just plan and simple
You kiddin me ???!! A router can do this ????
As you can see,I am not a plane Jane.
I hope the blood doesn't show.
…and we only need 117 million more of you to convert to hand tools to significantly reduce our dependence on foreign oil. Turn off that router and save the country.
"I'm just groovin, on a Sunday afternoon."
"Groovy Baby. Yeah!"
It's time to get your GROOVE on.
Be sure to read, understand, and follow all the safety rules that come with your tools. Knowing how to use your tools properly will greatly reduce the risk of personal injury. And remember this: there is no more important safety rule than to wear these — safety glasses.
This is so easy I do not even need to watch what I am doing!!
And then I made this great box by grooving some half datoes and glueing it up. My wife had an old prom dress which she let me cut up to line the box with and it was so nice I decided to use it for these grooving planes instead of a gift for my sister who, can you believe it, actually asked for a box but I can't be the only guy who makes velvet lined boxes for everyone so I think I should do something nice fore myself sometimes and anyway...
You can tell by the peaceful, satisfied look on my face; in the shop or not, I'm in the groove.
"And if you call right now, we'll even DOUBLE the offer!"
Now lets see The Fonz do THAT with his fingernail!
To grove or not to grove; that is the question.
I am making this for Stella who?
And it's very important that your shirt and smock colors coordinate with the wood to be really groovy
How come I am left handed in one picture and right handed in the other? Boy I'm more talented than I thought. Groovy
Why yes, I put these grooves in these other ones myself, they make great conversation pieces on the bench when I have guests over but will often get in the way when I am grooving a piece of lumber.
Groovin', on a Sunday afternoon
Hey man, building these tools is just "plane groovy"!
Oh yes, chocolate is my favorite with icing and creme filling.
... and then I casted a live nightcrawler over the other side towards the shore and tried a slow reel but no more luck there so I thought, I need one of those Jitterbugs to give this some action the fish would like but I didn't have one of those so...
Hey man, building these tools is just "plane groovey"!
Can you believe this? I just run this thingy across this wood and wala, a groove?
Doing his best Simon and Garfunkel imatation, Matt gets a feel for the wood.
At least I look SOMEWHAT interested, not like that guy with the router.
Groovy plans for Groovy Planes
I can't look, is that blood?
Through the wooden fibres I move
I just got into the groove
My colleagues thought I was insane
I could not build this grooving plane
....how Mathew Kenney got his groove back.
"yes, bald men do make the best tools!! We lost it all in the thought process!!"
With this set I can fiannly get my groove on!
"Groovin'... on a Sunday afternoon... groovin'... couldn't get away too soon..."
How To Get Your Groove On Without Waking Everybody Else Up In The House!
Ah yes, and now we'll just skip to the first aid portion of the program.
In the next edition I will show you how to unstick your hands after using "super glue"!
Matt freezes as he spies his pocket protector in the cameramans pocket.
In the Groove
What ? I could not here my I pad.
What's up, just da plane.
Don't let the tears show on camera I'm supposed to be a professional.So why did I groove my finger
Bald, glasses, plaid shirt......at least the planes are groovy.
Handmade grooving planes. A "Green" alternative to woodworking!
Traditional grooves done the old fashion way, we earned it!
Groovy groovers! Get on down with this matched pair of grooving planes.
Matt freezes when he spots his pocket protector in the cameramans shirt.
Just to show you that you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars on expensive tools, and at the same time you can show off your skills.
To gouge a guttered vein, I should use a groove plane.
De Plane! De Plane!
".....now line up your lingers along the grooves and you can begin to shoot your fingernails. Short and deliberate strokes and you will groom those lunch hooks quite easily. Be carefull not to go too deep......and for clean up, put those nail shavings in this wonderful keepsake box we made last week until they can be disposed of proberly."
Lost my hair but found my groove!
See? This is how you get your groove on!
So take the picture already...
All my old buddies never thought that I was grovey - guess I showed them.
Why Ol'date muss and fuss?; For a fine wood remover use my shopmade planing groover!
Will this work in the UK, (Different voltage)?
I wonder how many "groovy puns" will be suggested? Maybe I'll just keep the planes.
"Feeling the groove"
"You could be groovin two"
Next, I will show you how to groove both sides at the same time.
Who in the heck stole my cue cards??????
My suggested title and lead:
"Staying in the Groove"
Hi, I'm Matthew Kenney. Here at Fine Woodworking our shirt sleeve lengths are not always cutting edge fashion, but our hand made tools: never out of style.
Groove is not the question, groove is the answer. Groovy!
Look, Ma...two hands!
Play Against the Grain: The Wrong Way to Groove!
Hi, Norm Abrams here for Nutrisystem!
Grooven a box!
How many fingers did I start with????
Nuthin` complicated at all--just plane simple
All of the chisels behind me can be used as replacement blades, because they are metric widths.
Tim the "Tool Man" said his T-130 Hyper Groove Plane does it quicker with a hipper stroke. I think we need a plane off contest.
when my wife finds out about these I`ll need another pair!
these even accept the original Derek Cohen blade angle adjustment and can be used as a scraping plane!
Now let`s see if Ryobi are interested in a version.
Caption for Grooving planes photo
"who says these aren`t the Grooviest??"
Okay, I'm still waiting for my right-handed twin to come in and cut with the other plane
Ok, the tools and shavings are set, so let's pause here and bring in my stunt double for the action shots
Are you kidding me? If you don't point your index finger like this you get tons of tearout.
Do you think they can tell I've never used one of these before
I should have done something about this farmers tan before they took my picture
Does this thing have a reverse?
Striking a manly pose for the cover of "Guns and Planes" magazine, Matt reflects thoughtfully on a of high fiber diet of wooden hand tools to stay in the groove.
A router faster, I could not have formed my groove with, Master Yoda.
"Me make fire!"
"okay you caught me, but I really was just showing that these could be used by either hand"
...and remember when building your own box to start the groove in your work piece and not your finger.
Um, I think I just grooved my thumbnail.
Senior Editor Matthew Kenney reacts to massive blood loss as his severed right index finger floods his workpiece. The light headed editor said, "Can someone helmphhh" just before passing out.
Senior editor Matthew Kenney explains how blood from a lacerated finger is actually an excellent sanding sealer.
Hello Neighbor.....Welcome to My Wood Shop!!!
You question me?
How Matthew got his grove back!
Sometimes old fashioned is really groovy!
And that's how you use a grooving plane. Hang on.
Can someone grab my fingertip and put it in a bag with some ice? Stop laughing Asa. I'm feeling lightheaded. Get me a stretcher.
And remember, ALWAYS pay attention to where your fingers are placed.
And that's how you use a grooving plane. Hang on..
Can someone grab my fingertip and put it in a bag with some ice? Stop laughing Asa. I feel lightheaded....
And that's how you make a groove with a plane. Hang on, can someone grab my fingertip and put it in a bag with some ice? I feel lightheaded. Stop laughing Asa...
Yes, I do have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale.
"It rubs the lotion on its skin..."
Grooovin on a Sunday afternoon . . .
Well, there goes my fingers.
What do you mean my wife's in labor? She can't be, I haven't finished the grooves for the toy box drawers yet!!!
Pushen A groov,Pushen A groov cha cha cha!
I am one 'grooovy guy'.
How this fella got his groove back...
the bowling ball is in the groove
Groove is in the heart...wood.
Hhmmm, I wonder what I can use to cut grooves into these beautiful pieces of wood? Hate for them to go to waste. Oh look! I have these great grooving planes. I'll use them.
I'm offering you a free set of grooving planes and you demand my autograph on the planes?? No, you can't ask for my collection of autographed 8x10 glossies from famous woodworkers as a substitute prize!
A groovy pair, Matthew & his planes!
Groovy planes plain gain!
Life I love you, all is groovy.
(For you youngsters, it's from the "59th St. Bridge Song")
Of course, when you cut a groove across your workbench like this, it should really be called a dado...
"And today, we are getting into the groove, in the neighborhood. Hey, Where's my sweater?"
Come on take the picture already. The GQ photographers are so much better, and craft services are better too. Why do I put up with this? Male modeling is so grueling I haven't eaten all day.
Can you believe it? They actually pay me to do this stuff.
(You know the tune!)
Groovin' on a workshop afternoon.
Really, couldn't fit that drawer too soon.
I can't imagine a fit that's better.
The world is ours whenever we're together.
"What do you mean? I can't use my router or my table saw."
"What? We're dropping this picture for the bikini bimbo who didn't know the difference between a router and a groove plane?... No, I can't hold the planes in my cleavage.... Yes, our market is mostly male, but we could increase our female market if I can flex my guns while pretending plane a groove."
"Yes it will save more electricity by forcing me to use this plane. However, the money saved using a router or table saw with a dado bladed will be more significant when you check
my hourly rates."
Create groove plane: 4 hours X hourly pay rate
Pitch groove planes to Bosses: 1 hour X hourly pay rate
Create two more planes for blogs and magazine articles: 20 hours X hourly pay rate
Pitch giving away extra planes to winner of Witty Comment Contest: 1 hour X hourly pay rate
Reading Witty Comments submitted by people who'll do anything for freebies: 2 hours X hourly pay rate
Pick winner of Witty Comments randomly: 15 seconds (rounded to 1 hour) X hourly pay rate
Successfully milking the clock: Priceless
The plane and simple truth is, you got a righteous groove!
YOU talkin to ME ???---YOU! talkin to ME!!???
What's a Router ?
"What do you mean there's already a specialty tool on the market for trimming nails called a clipper?"
Time to get your groove on!
If I had a set of these I'd be "Feel'n Groovy".
Grooving to the left and grooving to the right.
Got small parts, a few strokes with these will give you lovely grooves
Yep, I'm just plane groovy.
Really! I bet Woodsmith magazine wouldn't make me do this.
so let me get this right, i bust my b@lls making these planes, i write you a blog, i stand here for hours with a photographer that noticed 1/2 hour into the shoot that he hadn't taken the lens cap off and want me to give my planes away to someone who writes a witty caption... ok then, i guess you can now tell what i'm thinking in this photograph, and the answer's no, you can't have the box i made for them.
Cut your grooves digitally
(using all your fingers and avoid losing any
Happiness is a smooth cutting grooving plane, Charlie Brown.
In these tough ecomonic times you can make your own planes, and then give a jewelry box since you can not afford jewelry.
Go ahead, make my groove.
Look mom no fingers!
Get your groove on with hand planes. Anyone can be groovy with these and a little practice.
If you think you can do it in less passes, groove it.
Does this make me groovy?
Don't have a router, do it like they have been for years before electricity.
Get in the groove, With Fine Woodworking!!
Slow down, you’re moving too fast.
You got to make that Dado blade last.
Just plowing a grove with a nice pair of planes
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.
Ba da, Ba da, Ba da, Ba da...Feelin' plane Groovy.
"I'll start the shelf for this jewelry box by gently planing off the tips of the fingers on my right hand."
oops, I just tooted...
"Let's see how can I win that editor's contest for the most comments on a blog entry? Hmmm..."
Grooving down the line with handmade grooving planes!
Handmade grooving planes deserve a groovy shirt!
Some people check to see if their blades are sharp by shaving the hair on the back of their hand. Me, I use my head.
And that is how a fingernail plane works...
$20.00 A BOARD FOOT...
IT'LL BE ALRIGHT, IT'S JUST A STUPID GROOVE
- YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY -
"DON'T LOOK DOWN...JUST DON'T LOOK DOWN!!!"
"Gee I hope I did this right"
No I don't know how much wood a woodchuck would chuck.
sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
What do you mean, "I have more hair on my arms than on my head?" The camera is supposed to be focused on the planes, isn't it?
Are you sure we should be using plywood for this? Planes work best with solid wood.
Nice work so far folks. Keep them coming.
Look ma, no power tools!
Matthew Kenny's new planes are groovy.
It's really easy to get in a groove with these new planes by Matthew Kenny.
These new planes by Matthew Kenny are just groovy.
To groove or not to groove...that is the question.
Get in the groove...the right groove
Go ahead Al - make my day!
"Make a set of "groovy" grooving planes with Mat Kenny
Uh, this is a GROOVING demo; if you want splines for the box we'll have to change sets
Match-making for woodworkers
Hey look, they make grooves!
'To groove or not to groove', that is the questions!
Kenney reacts as Pekovich informs him (again) that, like tenons, grooves can be cut faster and more effectively on the table saw or router table.
That's right, I'm getting my groove on.
"This set will get you grooving"
Measure twice groove once
I have to plug them in?
Howz about.... "just, workin' with wood and feelin GROOVY!!!
Ta da da daaaa da daaa da, feelin groovy.....
WHAT! Your giving my planes away?
An old 60's song "Groovy" says it best.
"just groovin, on a Sunday afternoon"
How would (wood) you like to a profile like this?
“Two simple ways to get into a rut.”
“It’s a great Gorge Charlie Brown.”
“There's a very fine line between a groove and a rut; a fine line between eccentrics and people who are just ‘plane’ nuts.”
“Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead.”
“These grooves sure got me out of a rut.”
”When you get a groove going, time flies.”
“I don’t dig staying in one groove.”
“If you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your ‘plane’ and move to another groove.”
“Don’t furrow your brow, furrow your wood instead.”
The Plane Truth... "I'll show you how to make this grooving plane if you stop playing that song, "Feeling Groovy"!
Look folks - my new thin strip cutting jig!!!
These simple grooving planes will add definition that is as smooth as my head...
What's that you say ... that Aflac job is open?
... a groove is like a box of chocolates, ...
Did I ever tell you I made grooves to pay my way through college?
You young whippersnappers don't know nuthin bout grooves. Why I used to make grooves in three feet of snow to git to school, uphill, both ways.
I name all my planes you know. This one is named Pat.
You know, when I think about it, I can't believe I trusted anybody with a name like Madoff. It even sounds like he's going to take off with your money!
I remember my first box. It had the nicest grooves you have ever seen.
Fourteen trillion? And my share is how much? Maggie, how much is that per groove?
His hippie days are clearly gone, but Matt keeps groovin' on.
How Matthew got his groove on.
Because of financial pressures at the magazine, Matt decided to take on some part time work performing circumcisions. Here Matt shows us how he makes some great tips and the box he keeps them in.
Matt is "planely" in a groove
And THAT'S how I got my groove back!
"Now THAT will put a little hair on your palms!"
...and if you plane enough grooves, you too will get guns like these.
I'm in the groove, now!
"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."
We're giving them away? Yeah but i'm still getting paid to make them, right??
I wonder if Norm ever wore short sleeves?
"Can I move yet?"
"Quick, find my finger!"
"Did she really say she wants to meet me?
In the shop getting my groove on!
How many saftey issues are possible with this bad boy. First, use to create tinder for bbq after saturating with flamable liquid of choice. Secondly, while planing groove; slip and remove section of skin shape that symbolizes religous or political motif of choice. And lastly beware the kickback its a doozey. Follow these easy steps and you too will enjoy the rewards of a job well done.
Really?....the naked cameraman stunt again....really?
...but luckily I now have this adorable wooden box with which I will transport my index finger in style to my local emergency room. Wish I had it for my left hand finger tips.
I'm so in the groove, I don't even need to watch what I'm doing!
For this segment, I just finished grooving the side panel you see in the picture, when our new, well meaning, just-out-of-art-school camera says 'So, why are you putting grooves in drawer panels? I mean, all the drawers I buy already come with grooves in them.' You can see my response in the photo. We stopped shooting and had a little chat about how camera's drawers got grooves in them too.
Oh man!!!!! You guys are killing me with these captions. Please stick to woodworking. I am sure you guys are better at woodworking than you are at comedy. No offense though.
The plane truth is these planes are groovy.
These plane irons hold an edge so sharp I can easily plane this highly figured maple even after shavnig my head with them.
I know I'm in the groove, but you're gonna love this joke. A priest, a rabbi, and Chris Schwarz walk into a bar...
It's a groove, NOT a rut!
I like my planes like I like my women, very sharp and able to take a transparent shaving out of curly maple.
I seem to have cut the Dickens out of my finger!
Do you think they can tell I'm not wearing pants?
Looks like a pushover plane to me.
Oh, I'm supposed to PUSH it?
This is way more groovy than a shaper.
Yeah the irons are sharp, what, you test it with your arm hair-that's the silliest thing I ever heard!!
"Here's lookin' at you groove"
After this shot, I got to put the blade in the right way!
"I totally just ran over my fingers, didn't I..."
Now if the plane skips out of the groove (like an old 45 record) just put more weight on it......I think......yea that should work....
Slick Plane? Uh, no camera...here, pull my finger...
As Richard Simmons would say "Sweating to the Groovies"
"Move over T Mac, T Chisel, or whatever your name is. I'm ready for prime time!"
Here I will show you how to use a tool that Norm has never seen. If enough of you readers like this I will be able to buy the sleeves for my shirt and I will look just like him. Shoot, I forgot the most important thing. Please remember to wear these safety glasses.
If anyone calls this a dado, you may leave the classroom now!
Our Grooving Planes ARE simply described as "the grooviest"
Say I look like Moby again....come on Asa, SAY IT!
You won't be sticking out your tongue to this groovy set of planes.
Its going to take a lot more then hand planes to make this guy groovy, his next project should be goofing planes because this cat is straight goofy
No this bottom will fit in the box, just one or two more passes and......
"This is just plane simple"
"FWW Senior Editor Matthew Kenney reacts as a production assistant (out of frame) informs him that he's grooved the wrong side of the workpiece for the *third* straight time."
For my next trick, I'll shave off my other fingers.
Just a little bit more, and my fingernails will be just right.
Even your wife will understand why you need these planes!
How about "Groovin' with Grooves"
Another "Against the Grain" game? Nope, with these two little planes, you'll be grooving with the grain -- always!
Okay how does this work? Ummm.....ok insert finger here, push forward, bring back, and repeat until satisfied. Sweet!
"I'm sure these work better if you let the blade out a little."
"Have you taken the photo yet?"
"Hurry up, I can feel blood..."
Any or all of the above!
SUPER GLUE ON THE HAND PLANE REAL FUNNY REAL FUNNY GUYS.
MAN THIS PICTURE IS WORSE THAN MY DRIVERS LICENSES. WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME?
BOSS THE PLANE THE PLANE
"Are you serious? No way am I taking my shirt off or getting on top of this bench. Guys, I really don't think the new photographer from Vogue is working out!"
LOL,... i can't believe i'm doing this,.. from the old song: "Feelin Groovy",...Groovy,Groovy,.....
"Come to my shop...brothers and sisters...you too will experience the groove..."
Seriously? You just did'nt ask me if I actually made these myself?
None taken. I was the third of four children. I can definitely take some good natured (and not-so-good-natured) abuse.
No offense Matt
"Calm breaths. Don't look down. I'm sure my thumb is fine...
BILL!! Bring the gauze, I did it again!!"
I was trying to come up with something clever about how the planes could also be used to shave your head but after reading JLYoung's suggestion, I think you have to give it to him.
"To groove or not to groove...--Are you kiddin'? That's no question at all with these guys!"
Eureka! That hair loss product will help me get my groove back on!
"Hey... HEY! I'm down here Buddy! Typical Kenney, always hamming it up for the camera." - grooving plane
Goovin'on a Sunday afternoon.
ala the Young Rascals???
get your grove on when you use these grooving plane to make her a jewelery box.
Look deeep into my eyes........Subscribe...to...Fine... Woodworking.
Don't these little planes make my hands look HUGE!?!?
Chris Schwarz said WHAT?
"Warning: These planes that work so smoothly, they may induce a hypnotic state"
Groovin' . . . on a Sunday afternoon
It was Sunday, wasn'y it?
"I'm too sexy for my plane, too sexy for my plane. Two planes going to leave me." (With apologies to Matthew Kenney and Right Said Fred)
"Could you get me a bandage? I just planed off the tip of my right index finger!"
This is just 'plane' groovy...get it? Get it? Tough crowd.
Cut nails and a clever lid clinch a traditional Japanese toolbox
Shaker-inspired design is comfortable and practical
Fast, fun approach to making a comfortable, casual seat
In this video Michael finishes the first of the three boxes. Gluing-up, planing, sanding and finishing bring a new piece of art to the world.
In this video Michael starts work on the second box, a carved and painted Saddle lid box.
Michael begins carving the saddle lid box with his ripple pattern along the top. Then turns to his 5/30 gouge to texture the sides of the box. This isn't work…
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